Where Childlike Wonder and Wisdom Meet

Growing up, I always completed my homework exactly the way the teacher wanted it -- not in the slightest bit different, even if it added to the quality of the homework in my mind. I was afraid of not meeting the standards, and my report card needed that "A" scribbled next to each one of my classes.
Besides my striving to excel at everything in school, I've always been afraid of asking the hard questions. I tend to stick in my comfort bubble that shelters itself miles away from the world of government, politics, or anything else controversial for that matter. Even with matters of where I stand on homosexuality or cohabitation in the church, I've shoved them back on the shelf for fear of being hated because, "I was taking the wrong side." For me, grey areas have always posed more comfort for me, because if you're on middle ground, no one hates you, right?
This is the mentality that's been etched into my brain, and it's forced me to shut down any new wave of thought that's sparked in my head. I'm living on neutral ground, with no real tug towards one end or another.
And because of my fear to explore new ideas, I tend to avoid the topic of WISDOM. What is wisdom, anyway?

I think God was prying the lid open on this one a few weeks ago.
One of my friends brought it up initially by quoting Luke 10:27:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind."

Yes, you've probably heard that verse a million times. Or if not a million, 999,999 times. But what my friend emphasized was the part of loving the Lord with all your mind. I guess I had never ventured this route yet -- whenever I think of loving the Lord, I think of loving Him through my praise or through the work of my hands. I didn't realize that we could love the Lord by studying books or engaging in discussion that pulls on the strings of your knowledge. And God actually desires that from us? It scared me a bit.
If that wasn't enough for God to grab my attention about the significance of wisdom, the leadership theme as my school this year is none other than this: A Call To Wisdom.
God is calling us to wisdom. He wants us to grow in knowledge of who He is and how His Kingdom will be established on this earth, and wisdom is the capability of dispersing this knowledge well.

Along with this call to wisdom, however, God wants us to come before Him as little children. You might see that as contradictory -- children aren't wise, so how can we be wise before God while possessing the personality as children?
I think C.S. Lewis says it well:

"[God] wants us to be simple, single-minded, affectionate, and teachable, as good children are; but He also wants every bit of intelligence we have to be alert at its job, and in first-class fighting trim." --Mere Christianity

God delights in childlike wonder. He loves to see us laugh, go on adventures, and create new things with our hands. Just like school children playing on a playground during recess or little girls dancing around the house as ballerinas (as my sister and I did when we were young), we can approach God with a child's playful heart.
Yet this doesn't mean we are stupid, inexperienced or clueless. Having the heart of a child does not mean you are a fool.
And to be completely vulnerable, that last statement is something I've believed for many years now. Many times when I'm joking around with my friends, I beat myself up afterwards because I feel like I was such a ditz. I suppose it's an insecurity issue, and a pride issue at the core, but I've swallowed and learn to accept the lie that I am clumsy and awkward.
Yet when I consider the idea that maybe, just maybe, God delights in my loud, obnoxious laughter with a couple snorts every now and then; or that He delights when I play hand-clap games with my friends in public places; or that He delights when I skip across a bridge with a huge smile painted across my face... I am blown away. God really couldn't be that childish, could He?
But the fact is, God created us in His image, and therefore by creating children and instilling such joy and silliness in them, He is showing us a side of Himself. God is bubbly, adventurous and sweet like children, and this does not displace the fact that He is also righteous, just, and holy.
He encompasses all qualities in one. What beauty.

So this is what it boils down to: embracing the child within you, but also deciding to pursue wisdom. In Matthew 10:16, Jesus calls us to be "as wise as serpents AND as innocent as doves." As polar opposite as that may sound, it's where we will find true joy and our place in the Kingdom.
As C.S. Lewis puts it, God "wants [us to have] a child's heart, but a grown-up's head."

Bicycle Ride

Today I went on a spontaneous bike ride. I wasn't planning on going anywhere today, but after work I decided that I wanted to get out into the city and explore.
Before leaving, I sat down and attempted to find a map that would help me navigate the bike paths of Minneapolis. Thinking I knew where my bicycle adventure would take me, I burst outside with my white helmet in hand and my backpack stuffed with my journal and Bible, an apple and a water bottle.
I started biking on the road that I thought would intersect with the path I wanted to merge on. Nope, nothing. They really must keep these bike paths hidden. Or I'm just incredibly blind.
Concluding that I wasn't going to get anywhere without asking anyone, I was thankful to run in to another biker at the next stoplight. I asked her how to get to the destination I was hoping to find, and she gave me adequate directions.
I biked forward, and within the next mile I ended up passing by a friend I hadn't seen in three months. It was an unexpected blessing to catch up with him on the side of the road for a few minutes.
Then, I continued onwards. Unsure of where I was (I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere), I biked in unusual patterns around a section of streets I was unfamiliar with.
Instead of freaking out though, I just continued to pedal. My legs pushed me forward on the sidewalks with weeds peeking out between the cracks.
I'm lost. Oh well. I'm going somewhere, and eventually I'll end up at some destination -- whether it's the destination I'm planning on or not. It's all about the journey, anyway.
Those were the thoughts that flashed through my mind at that point, or something along those lines.

And then I realized that these thoughts ran parallel to the way we're supposed to live out our daily lives. They didn't just refer to my bicycle adventure, or traveling in general.
There are a million different paths to choose from in this life, and it can be frustrating and terrifying trying to measure if you're on the right path at the right time. Friends and family pressure you to walk one way, you desire the opposite way, and God's way never seems to be plain and clear in the moment.
Who said there was only one correct path to walk on, anyway?

I think there are multiple paths God lays before us, and He gives us the freedom of choice to pick the one we want to walk on. Whether it's choosing a college to attend, finding someone to marry, or any other decision that could alter your life path, God works everything out in the end.
I'm not saying that we should foolishly choose whichever path we want to take next out of pride or ignorance -- I do believe we should be asking God which path He wants us to take next in prayer. But sometimes He doesn't always give us a black-and-white answer. Sometimes He leaves it up to us to take the next step, and once we step forward, He'll mold our path into His plan for our lives.
Even if you take the wrong turn at one intersection, He'll merge another path into your life that will bring you back on track.

And I do believe that any path we choose leads to the same destination. What is that destination, you ask? God Himself. Whether we choose to be a businessman or pastor, live in the United States or India, run a marathon or play music at local venues, our path will always end up at the feet of Jesus when we are seeking His face every day.
It's not about the path itself; it's about the opportunities on the path you take to bless the people who are on the same path. But it's mostly about learning to glorify God and becoming closer to Him while facing whatever valleys, hills, or curves come your way.

** What path are you treading on, and what opportunities has God placed before you? Are you taking ahold of these, or passing them by? Are you growing closer to God as you continue to walk on the path you're on?

Day #7: Beyond Me

So often I ask God, "What's wrong with me? How can I change?"
I sit down, journal and pencil in hand, and start scribbling down all of my problems. I fill the pages with troubles in my relationships with people, drama at work, insecurities that I suffer from, and so on.
Then I cry out to God, "Change me! I'm sick of who I am! Just transform me into the woman of God you created me to be."
Thinking that I've heard Him speak, I write down lists and formulas of ways to get rid of my problems.
I write, "Stop comparing yourself with other woman to combat jealousy," or "Don't talk about yourself all of the time to fight pride."And them I attempt to put these points into action.
But there's a problem.
The focus is still on me and my sin, not on grace and the love of God.

You see, transformation is more about the working of God in our lives than trying to fix ourselves.
It's looking beyond ourselves to the face of God and to the needs of others.
This is clearly outlined in Matthew 22:37-39:

"Jesus replied, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

When we become outwardly focused instead of inwardly focused, God works from the inside out to cleanse us of our impurity.

Instead of focusing on weeding out the sin instead of us by ourselves, let's work on these two things:

1. Fix your eyes on Jesus - Are you more aware of the problems in your life than Jesus, who has already conquered death itself? Are you consumed with worry? Then maybe it's time to shift your gaze. Spend time with the Lord in your free time and allow Him to lavish His love on you and show you how much He cares for you. Let Him show you that you can trust Him, and that there is complete peace when we rest in His arms. Even though there isn't full clarity with trust, it's the cloudiness that keeps us rooted in Him and walking by faith.

2. Love others - When you go about your day, are you so in tune with your own schedule and "to-do" list that you couldn't budge to go out of your way for someone else? Do you spend all of your free time by yourself investing in your own personal hobbies rather than branching outward and seeing what other people enjoy doing? It's so easy to get wrapped up in our own needs and wants, and it's especially easy to cling to a routine. But focusing on our own desires can draw us away from the needs of others. Maybe there's a man on the side of the road you walk past every day that is crying out for help and you ignore him every time. It could be time to reach out to him and offer him a dollar, a sandwich or a word of encouragement. We are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and when Jesus walked this earth, he never ignored the cries of the needy. God's heart beats for justice, and justice is ultimately love.

Let's become people who are so focused on seeking Jesus and loving others, that there is no room for pride or bitterness or insecurity.
The grace of God will flush out the brokenness in you, but only when you give up and say you can't do it by yourself anymore. Striving is not an activity in God's kingdom.
So let go. Let go of your own strength, because God defends those who are weak, not those who think they are strong enough themselves. Fix your eyes on Jesus, and let Him refine your sight so you can see the needs of others. And through this newfound vision, reach out in love. Wash someone's dishes. Pay for someone's coffee. Mow someone's lawn. Buy someone's textbooks.
Whatever form it takes place in, love is always the answer. Because God is love. And love transforms people.

Day #5: Mother to the Motherless

I'm sitting here in the kitchen waiting for the cookie dough in the fridge to harden so I can make sweet little pink peanut butter blossoms. They're my gift to my mom and grandma for Mother's Day.
Speaking of mothers, I am blessed by these two fabulous women who have nurtured and cared for me the past 20-and-a-half years of my life. Ever since I popped out as a crying infant in the hospital room, my mom and grandma have provided for me and helped shape me into the woman I am today. They always make sure I have a penny in my pocket and encourage me when I'm having a rough day. Without them, I don't know where I would be. I probably wouldn't be baking these peanut butter blossoms, for one thing (my grandma is a killer baker who taught me well).

Today is the day we get to celebrate the blessing of the mothers in our lives. I am blessed to have a mother and two grandmothers, but there are some people who many not have any. It's to these people I want to reach out to in this blog post.

Many of you have probably heard that God is a "father to the fatherless." (Psalm 68:5)
He fills the place of a father in many people's lives, even to those who have an earthly father. He gives us strength and boldness, and He fights for us through any battle or storms that arises in our life.
He calls us His beloved children, and knows us each individually. He knows the number of hairs on our head and wraps us in His arms with love and grace.

But God also mirrors the figure of a mother.
This may sound strange to some, because so many visualize God as a strong warrior or king. God would never weep for His children, would He? He would never nurture us like a mother nurses her baby, would He?
Yet, God is not confined to a gender. He is neither male nor female. In fact, BOTH man and woman were created in the image of God. (Genesis 1:27)

This Mother's Day, I encourage you to look to God to fill the empty gap of a mother in your life. Whether your mother died, abandoned you and your family, or any other circumstance, let God wrap His loving and tender arms around you like a mother would. Let Him gently speak words of kindness to you and let Him take care of all your struggles and restlessness.

What good mothers do best is take care of their children, no matter what kind of mess they get into. They pray for their children, cook them hearty warm meals, wash their dirty clothes, and send them care packages in the mail when they go far away.
God loves you and prays for you daily.
He will nourish you not only physically, but spiritually with His Living Water and Bread of Life.
He washes your dirty stains of sin away, and makes them white as snow.
He sends messengers into your life to remind you of your place.

Rest, O lost and abandoned child. You don't have to fear, worry, or cry any longer. He is there with open arms, ready to shower love over you. All you need to do is let go and let Him love you, just like a mother would.

**Do you have a mother or a mother figure in your life? What do you cherish most about them? If not, how can you allow God to be a mother to you?

Day #2: A Wild Pursuit

It was a chilly May night, the day after Finals, and my closest friends and I pulled an all-nighter together driving around the city of Minneapolis. After stuffing ourselves with breakfast food and pie at Denny's and parking near a scenic bridge to listen to worship music together, we made our way to the infamous "Makeout Point" in the Quarry. Once our orange car was subtly parked in the fogginess on top of the grassy hill that overlooked the city skyline, we pumped up the worship music once again and sat there for an hour in the stillness of God's presence. We prayed for each other, and then in a rush, I jumped out of the car and ran.

My feet pranced across the bushy grass, racing as fast as a deer's.

My eyes were fixed on the sunrise in the distance, nothing else.

My steps were swift and my strides were long. I couldn't stop!

I was free and overflowing with joy.

Then I danced at the edge of the plain to where the hill ended sharply and sloped violently downwards on a path of dirt.

It was the most free I've felt in my life.

Today I wondered, Am I actively pursuing God in the same way I ran out of the car to the edge of the field five days ago? Am I wildly jumping out into unknown, racing past anything in my way until I reach the very face of God?

The pursuit that God wants of us is supposed to be wild. It's supposed to be dangerous, not comfortable. Because comfortable equates stability, and stability is not part of growth.

I've become complacent. My hands are reaching towards God and my heart is groaning to know Him more, but my feet are glued to the ground of my own complacency. I'm screaming to Him, but my ears cannot hear because I'm too far away from Him.

All I want is for God's arms to envelop me in His beauty and love. I want to be captured and swept off my feet by Him, but I cannot experience this until I step into the gap that's separating us.

Why can't I move my feet into the vacant space? My feet feel like bricks being weighed down by my fears. I've constructed a wall that no one can tear down. It is a glass wall, but nonetheless, it is there.

I cannot move my feet because I am afraid of intimacy. I am afraid of the wild pursuit that God desires of me. I am afraid to give up my comforts to be closer to His heart.

But I know He is calling me out onto the waters. I know it. His voice is ever so clear, I'm just choosing to avoid it. Instead of risking myself for Him, I slumber away, actively ignoring His call.

He says, "Daughter, come out onto the waters. Step out of the boat and walk upon the waters. Reach for my hand and I will hold you. I will not let the waves overtake you."

A tug-o-war erupts inside of me. My spirit is aching for my Beloved, my Lord... but my flesh hesitates, flooding my head with worries. What if I stumble? What if I fall? What if the waves come crashing down on me?

No.

I cannot pledge my allegiance to my flesh any longer. I cannot sit in my place of comfort anymore. My spirit is trembling to budge, to move forward into oceans deep.

I'm like Peter, who Jesus called forth upon the waters as the disciples were on their fishing boat. Peter took a leap of faith and stepped onto the roaring seas. He saw Jesus standing out there, and that was the only hope he needed. He pursued Jesus wildly.

It's time for me to respond to the voice that is across the waters. It's time for this wall to fall and for me to step closer to God. It's time for me to run towards Him, pushing past all of my fear, pride, worry, and failures.

It's time to wildly pursue His heart.

**What is holding you back from pursuing Jesus wholly? Are you holding something back from Him that is creating a barrier between you and Him?

God In A Gas Station

Two days ago, two of my friends and I hit the interstate for an 8-hour road trip. Our long journey consisted of bonding through worship, prayer, eating at Jimmy John's and listening to a sermon by Francis Chan. Our destination? The one and only IHOP -- and that's not the pancake house, ladies and gents. That's the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, MO that hosts 24/7 prayer services. The three of us were stoked.
We arrived in KC around 7 p.m. and dropped one of our friends off at a high school to meet the family she would be staying with this week. Afterwards, my friend Kayla and I had no plans. We were free to do what we wanted for the rest of the night.
After a quick look at the gas level-ometer, we noticed the little arrow was close to hitting the red "E." We decided that a gas station would be the next stop in our night of spontaneity.
Little did we know that the stop would last more than an hour-and-a-half.
After leaving the high school parking lot, we immediately drove past a gas station to our right. Oops, our conversation had distracted us from making the turn. Luckily, there was a gas station only a quarter of a mile up the road under the bridge to the free way. We pulled in to the Phillipps 66 gas station at around 7:15 p.m.
Once pulling up to the pump, Kayla and I decided that I would pay for gas because she had paid for it on the way down. After retrieving my wallet, I noticed that the slot for my debit card was empty. "Shoot, I must have kept it in my other wallet," I said.
Thankfully, I had a $20 bill in my wallet so I gave it to Kayla to pay for as much gas as we could. Kayla walked into the gas station and pre-payed, while I stood out in the cold waiting to fill up. After some confusion of doing pre-pay (I had only done it once before), we were able to get the car half-filled. Good enough for now.
Kayla then contacted one of her friends in KC to hang out with. We were planning on going to Chipotle, when all of a sudden her iPhone died and thus had no way of navigating to the restaurant. I didn't have GPS on my phone, so we were stuck until her phone charged up again.
Kayla plugged her phone charger into the USB outlet in her radio, but the battery didn't charge.
Okay God, now what? We have no way of finding Chipotle and we don't even know what state we're in (KC is on the border of Kansas and Missouri, so we were clueless which side of the state line we were on.).
We decided to walk into the gas station and ask if they had an outlet we could use to charge Kayla's phone. Two clerks were at the desk: an older man probably in his late 50's, and a young girl who looked like she was in her early 20's. They both directed us to the women's bathroom, where we found an outlet next to the sink.
After plugging in Kayla's phone, we started talking about what we were going to do next. It was soon brought up that one of us should check on the car to make sure it was still safe, since the two of us were going to be in the bathroom for a while charging the phone.
I went out to the lobby and checked on the car, and just as I was about to turn back and walk to the bathroom, the two clerks asked if the outlet was working. I said yes, and they both asked where we were heading that night. I told them we were going to Chipotle and needed the GPS to work. The young girl started explaining how to use the Maps feature on an iPhone, and soon enough she sprung out from behind the counter and followed me into the bathroom to show us how it functioned (even though we already knew how it worked).
Three girls in a bathroom: two girls going to IHOP, and one gas station clerk. It couldn't have been more God-orchestrated. Read what happened next.
Kayla and I told the girl that we were headed to IHOP, and not surprisingly, she asked us what that was. We told her it was a prayer house that has live music 24/7. She was amazed by this and asked more. We showed her the live stream on Kayla's iPhone, and she seemed really curious.
We then began explaining to her why we were there and where we were from. She asked us what the two of us wanted to do when we grew up, and when Kayla told her she was going to be a youth pastor, the girl became really interested.
I don't know how all the pieces connected exactly, but eventually Kayla spilled her entire testimony and the girl ended opening up to us about her life.
The girl had grown up going to church when she was younger, but as a teenager she drifted away from the "religious" scene and got hooked into partying and dating other girls. She also told us about her difficult relationship with her mother.
What was interesting is that the night we visited was the girl's last day of work at the gas station. In three days, she was moving to Colorado with her half-brother to begin a new life. It was definitely a turning point for her in her life.
Throughout the conversation, which lasted over an hour, we continued telling her how much the Lord loved her and that He has a plan for her life. She was full of questions and eager to learn more about our faith. Every now and then I noticed a slight grin on her face, and it was amazing seeing the transformation taking place.
She didn't end up giving her life to the Lord, but we were able to pray with her at the end.
We laid hands on her inches in front of a sink in a gas station bathroom. God truly does work in the most unusual of places.
That hour-and-a-half couldn't have been more perfectly arranged.

• If I would have had my debit card, we wouldn't have gone inside to pay.
• If Kayla's phone hadn't died and then decided to work, then we wouldn't have gone in and had to use the outlet in the women's bathroom.
• If I hadn't gone and checked on our car, the girl wouldn't have followed me into the bathroom.

God seriously uses the most hopeless and frustrating moments for His glory sometimes. It's puzzling and beyond comprehension -- but it's SO worth every flustered moment, tear and grumble.
So whenever you find yourself in the midst of a situation that seems utterly hopeless, don't lose hope. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and your hope anchored in Him. Even when you feel like giving up, the Lord always has a way out and will use the most inopportune moments (in our human eyes) to show His glory.
Remember this truth that Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans:

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." (Romans 8:28)

God works in the middle of our mishaps. He doesn't expect perfection; all he requires is a heart that is willing and obedient to His voice, even in the midst of confusion and pain.
He turns our frustrations into moments for His glory to shine when we obey Him.

Refined By Flames

During a worship gathering at my school last night, the Lord put an image on my heart: gold surrounded by the flames of a fire.

I began thinking about the meaning of the image.

I pictured the hands of a miner panning gold, his dirty blistering hands plunging a pan of sand and dirt into water and then shaking out the remnants of gold. Though the process may be gruesome and tiring, in the end the miner is left with pure gold.

Just like the gold being hidden amid piles of sand and dirt, as Christians, we were once blended in with the rest of the world. Then Jesus came and separated us from everyone else. He called us out to be his disciples.

But it doesn't stop there.

After gold is found by a miner, the miner brings it to a craftsman to be refined. The goldsmith places the gold in a crucible, and being held by tongs, thrusts the crucible into the flames to remove all of the impurities of the precious metal. After many times of being put in the flames, with temperatures in the thousands of degrees, the gold is finally made pure.

I couldn't stop thinking of how similar the process of refining gold is to our walk with the Lord.

Not only did Jesus choose us from the mess of the world, but he is constantly putting us in situations where we either have the choice to be refined or to walk away.

Take someone's death for an example. Recently at our school a former student passed away. It was a moment of grief for many students, but even through it those close to him chose joy instead of anger. They rejoiced because the student wasn't in pain anymore, and they didn't allow themselves to be overcome with despair.

This is a refining moment in the flames. As would many other circumstances, such as being stuck in a financial crisis or experiencing a break-up after a long-term relationship that you thought would lead to marriage.

How will you handle the flames that arise in your life? Will you flee, or will you remain and allow the Lord to mold your character into something more like Him?

1. The Lord takes us through struggles and pain for a reason. His ultimate purpose for us is to grow more and more into the image of Christ, and the trials we encounter are designed to help us reach that goal. Trials develop godly character, and that enables us to "rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." (Romans 5:3-4)

2. The Lord also reassures us that those who call on His name during these times of trial will be answered. When we put our hope fully in Him, He will calm us during the storm and provide a way out in His timing. It may not happen right away, like the Israelites who wandered in the desert for 40 years, but He will work as what fits best in His plan for your life.

"I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The Lord is our God.'" (Zechariah 13:9)

There's no avoiding the pains and troubles that come with life on earth. However, we do have a choice about what we do when these troubling times hit. Choosing to trust in the Lord and abide in Him during the storm will give us the opportunity to grow more into the image of Christ.

And once we choose to put our hope in Him, the Lord will rid of us of all our impurities when we become fully SATURATED in His presence. Ask Him to ignite the flame in your heart that would gnaw away at any impurity hindering your from growing in your relationship with the Lord.

Fill In The Blank

Today in chapel we sang "Great I Am" by New Life Worship.
I remember over the summer debating with one of my friends over what the best worship songs were, and this song popped up. My friend described it as the "most powerful worship song of the day," and honestly, I couldn't argue that.
The chorus goes like this:

Hallelujah, Holy Holy
God Almighty, the Great I Am
Who is worthy
None beside Thee
God Almighty, the Great I am

I've sung this song probably a dozen times in church settings. In my own listening, I've played it countless times. But I never fully grasped what the lyrics meant until today.
As I was worshipping, I started thinking about the Old Testament patriarchs. Moses. Abraham. Joseph. Their stories are fresh in my head, because I committed to doing the whole "Read-The-Bible-In-A-Year" thing for one of my new year's resolutions.
I remember reading how God appeared to Moses in a burning bush and said, "I AM WHO I AM." His answer puzzled me. But the answers lie in the previous chapeters and the books to come in both the Old and New Testaments.
God is our Deliverer, Healer, Redeemer, Provider, Defender, Fighter, Father, Friend, Helper, Shepherd... The list goes on and on.
God is whoever you need Him to be in your circumstance.
Even when Jesus comes in the New Testament, He uses the same phrases to describe Himself. The book of John lists several of these:
"I am the Bread of Life."
"I am the Good Shepherd."
"I am the Light of the world."
God is the Great I Am ___________. You fill in the blank.
Whether you need healing from a sickness, peace in a relationship, money in a financial crisis, or anything in-between, He is there standing in the gap for you. Have faith in Him and He will be there for you in whatever way you need Him to.

I Will Not Fear

(The most important part of this post is bolded; that's my story from this past Friday night.)
There's a really cool evangelistic opportunity at my school. It's called Encounter.
Every Friday night, students gather in one of the classrooms on campus to worship and pray for an hour. Then, at around 11:30 p.m., they hit the streets of downtown Minneapolis to get to know the people who are out partying and drinking. Their goal is to spread Christ's love through simple conversation, which ultimately can open doors for prayer and salvation.
I started going to Encounter during spring semester of my freshman year. In fact, it wasn't until the very last outing that I went. My friend Amy reeled me into it, saying that it was "so awesome." Yeah, I was terrified.
See, I had never been one to go out and evangelize, nonetheless walk around the streets of Minneapolis at night. I'm not a city girl. I come from a small town bordering the suburbs, so this experience would DEFINITELY push me out my comfort zone.
But I went. And, I liked it. The Lord knew exactly what He was doing when He sent me out on those streets that night. My partner and I were able to hear the life story of a guitar player near one of the clubs, and eventually we got to pray with him. It was incredible; nothing like I had ever experienced before.
That one night was a launching pad for my consistent attendance the following year. I started to feel a deeper love for the city and the people. I started to feel the brokenness enveloping the city, and God placed a passion inside of me to go and minister to that.
Fast forward a year. It's my junior year at North Central University, and this past semester I didn't go to Encounter very much. Instead, I was working late nights and early mornings on the weekends, so my body couldn't afford sacrificing a good night's sleep. The times I did go out were amazing, though.
And now it's the beginning of a semester. I quit my weekend job during winter break, which means Encounter is now something I can go to more often if the Lord leads me to it. Speaking of which, this past Friday I went out. And wow, was it mind-blowing. I want to share my story with you.
I was partnered with one of the leaders named Josiah and a new student named Gabi. We walked downtown and talked to quite a few people, but it wasn't until we reached Bar Fly that the main events of the night struck. Josiah started talking to a man, and as this was happening a drunk guy ambled off the street. Gabi and I said "hello" and started a conversation with him. Gabi was doing most of the talking, and as the the conversation progressed my eyes drifted off to the side. I saw a woman dressed in a long, puffy coat with a fur hood covered her head. Her face was buried in a white scarf, and you could barely see her pale brown face in the light. That's when I felt the nudging of the Holy Spirit. So I walked up to her. I asked her how her night was, and she suddenly stopped, turned to me, and gave me a hug. I didn't know how to respond. She then pulled out four coins and asked me if I had $0.75. I said no, but I told her I could pray for her if she'd like. Immdiately she turned away and walked in the other direction. After that happened, I was able to talk and pray with the man she was with who was walking beside her. Then I moved back to Gabi's conversation with the drunk guy. I noticed on the other side of the bus stop (where we were standing) there were two police officers with a skankishly dressed girl. The drunk guy waltzed over to one of the officers and tapped his shoulder to use him as a metaphor in our conversation about the Bible. Suddenly, another officer appeared and told the drunk guy to leave the premises otherwise he could be arrested for interrupting a serious situation (the girl was intoxicated and the officers were trying to help her find her friends to get home). The drunk guy backed off, but it seemed as if the officer didn't understand, because he grabbed ahold of his shirt and shoved him against the glass wall of the bus stop. The man started yelling, and all of a sudden he was tackled into the street. Gabi and I had backed away by this point and had started to pray over the situation. We didn't know what was happening. After praying and meeting up with two other group members, the officers had left and the drunk guy had walked off in another direction. But the girl was still there, surrounded by two of her friends now. One of the friends left, and the other friend was on the phone. My attention grazed towards the intoxicated girl, however. She was seated on a bench, scrunched up with her hands covering her face. The Holy Spirit then nudged me over to them.
"Ladies, how are you doing? Is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine," said the girl on the phone.
But I could tell not everything was fine. The intoxicated girl was dressed in a white blouse, a black mini skirt and black tights. I could tell she was freezing. So I asked her a question.
"Honey, are you cold?"
No response. Just a quick seat-shift to the side, and her hands motioning for me to sit down next to her. I sat down and offered her my coat, but her friend refused to have me give it to her. So I just hugged her, my arm wrapped around her cold, frail body.
She cuddled closer against me, and I could her hear whisper, "You're warm" under her intoxicated breath. It broke me.
The time went by, and after five minutes their ride came and the girl on the phone got up and helped her friend up. I then regrouped with the others who were standing nearby.
This is what I learned that night:
Sometimes following the lead of the Holy Spirit is uncomfortable. It will scare you out of your mind; it will draw you into places you'd never imagine going before.
But when you drop all your fear and uncertainty on the side of the road and say, "God, I will do WHATEVER you want me to do," that's when He accompanies you and fights for you.
That's what I had to do on Friday night.
I'll be transparent with you. I told you above that after my first experience with Encounter, I really started to like it. I've had amazing interactions with people on the streets, but all of these interactions have been primarily through the prompting of one of my partners. I've never sparked my own conversation with someone on the street. And, to add to that, I've never talked to a woman on the streets. Only men. That's my confession. My fear.
Or, should I say, old fear. On Friday night, I decided that I was done hanging out in the background. I decided I was done just following the lead of my partner, and not listening to the Holy Spirit while on the street.
I wanted to listen to the Holy Spirit, and I really wanted to talk to women.
Then God spoke to me. He told me that He would fight for me if I put my hope in Him. He would be my mouthpiece if my own words failed.
So I allowed God to use me. I allowed myself to become nothing so He could work through me. I was able to listen to the nudging of the Holy Spirit, and I was able to talk to two women.
See, we are nothing without the power of Christ in us. I believe that to be so incredibly true. From the very roots of my relationship with the Lord I am dependent on Him. He was nailed to a cross so I could be redeemed, and by faith in Him, I am saved. That's my story.

Not My Own

Today I was touched by one person's act of genorosity.
I was working at our house garage sale to raise money for the FMSC MobilePack event our school is hosting this spring. It was quite slow, but around 4:45 p.m. one of the guys on my brother floor walked in. He browsed for at least ten minutes, and afterwards he ambled up to the counter with a bag of Hebrew coffee in his hands.
"How much?" I said. "$2? $1? Give as little or as much as you like." I wasn't expecting much for a small bag of ground coffee. Out of my surprise, my expectations were blown away.
"I was thinking $10."
I just sat there, jaw dropped and my eyes wide.
"Or actually, all I have is a $20 bill, so how about I just give it all?"
This time my heart stopped. $20 for a bag of coffee? You wouldn't even pay that much for a fresh ground bag at Starbuck's or Caribou.
"Uhhhh... Wait... Are you sure?"
"It is for a good cause, isn't it?"
"Why yes... well ummmm, thank you. Thank you so much!"
Then he walked up the stairs.

In the moments after he left, I sat there motionless. I couldn't focus on the Bible commentary in my hands anymore. All I could think was, "Why would someone give so much for something so little?"
But isn't that what God did for us?
He came down into the earth in flesh and bones, and sacrificed his body for all of humankind on the cross. He gave his Son as a living sacrifice so we could be redeemed and made whole again.
This is the ultimate gift.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave His one and only Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16)
 

Some of you may have heard this verse over and over again as a child in Sunday school, but I want you to really focus on what it means.
It was out of authentic, pure and righteous love that God gave his highest prized possession (his Son) to redeem the wickedness of the world. We don't deserve one bit of this love. But out of His grace, we are released from our chains and are free to live in joy, peace, and goodness!

As I reflect on the wonder of God's sacrifice, I ponder about what I am hanging on to that could release more of God's kingdom into this earth if I let it go.
My pride.
My greed.
My fear.
These are only three of the things I struggle with. What if I decided to leave pride, greed and fear on the side of the road and run after God's arms like never before?
Pride and greed would be replaced wtih HUMILITY. God's strength would come alive in my weakness.
See the truth is, God will never turn us away. No matter how broken and messed up we are. Maybe it's time to start sacrificing the things holding you up tight for something that may not seem like the most self-satisfying in the moment, but for something that honors and glorifies the King through meekness and humble devotion.

It's time to remember that our bodies, possessions, emotions, actions and words were all created by the King for one purpose: to glorify the King, the maker of the universe and everything in it.
Everything we own really isn't ours. Everything that has been given to us is a blessing from above, and we need to use it to magnify His name - whether that be our earthly possessions, our talents or our personality.
We were made to worship.

"Love the Lord your God with all your HEART, and with all your SOUL and with all your MIND." (Matthew 22:37)

So I challenge you. Take time to evaluate your heart's motives behind every word that rattles off your tongue and every action your hands and feet make. Do they bring glory and praise to the King? Or are they self-glorifying, bringing satisfaction for a moment but in the long run destroying you?

Give it all to Jesus. He's worthy of every penny, every smile, every car ride, every phonecall, every basketball shoot, every paintbrush stroke, every stir of the spoon, and every other way that can be used to show off his glory. :)

Roots

Every morning I water the flowers in my grandma's garden. I wake up, and to the raspy call of my grandma's voice outside, I hustle out the door to the hose and fill up the water can to the brim. I water each plant steadily, making sure it gets enough water it needs to stays healthy and strong.
It's not the most exciting job in the world. Sometimes I even complain about the two whole minutes it takes to water each of the 10 flower pots.

But my grandma wants her garden to look fresh, colorful, and bright for her neighbors. And so I consistently remain devoted to helping her out.

This whole process of watering flowers is similar to our walk with the Lord.

We each are plants -- uniquely and carefully planted by the Sower. Some of us may be daffodils, shimmering the brightest yellow in the sunlight; others tulips and lilies. No matter what the plant, we all have special gifts and beautiful features the Lord has given us.

"We are flowers of God's garden, 

Bright as the morning sun, 
Fresh as the dawn
Lovely in differences, 
Varied in loveliness, 
we are the flowers of humanity." (Song Lyrics, Artist Unknown)

In order for plants to stay alive and grow most abundantly, they must be watered and fed daily so their roots can grow deep and thick into the soil. The same must occur in our walk with the Lord: We must drink "living water" and give ourselves "daily bread" in order for our spiritual roots to strengthen.

WE SHOULD DESIRE A FAITH WITH ROOTS PLANTED DEEP IN THE WORD OF THE LORD.
In order to develop and maintain this kind of faith, we must first be good fertilizers of our hearts and souls.

We must cultivate good, rich soil for the roots to grow in. A plant can't grow in thorns, rocks, or sand. It needs to be planted in healthy soil rich in vitamins and minerals. Similarly, we must have a healthy foundation for our faith that will fervently and relentlessly soak in God's Word.

There's no room for garbage in our soil. We must remove the junk -- our past, our secrets, our pride, our sin -- from the ground and burn it. There's no more room for unhealthy weights on our shoulders. Uproot your hard heart and let the Lord shower seeds of goodness and righteousness into your life.

But it's not just pure and healthy soil you need for your spiritual roots to grow. Once the rocks and weeds are plowed out of the way, you must take time to allow the Sower to pour His "living water" over your life every day.

"For I will pour out water to quench your thirst." (Isaiah 44:3)

The Lord says He will fill us, we just need to be willing and obedient to the outpouring of His "living water". So what happens when we drink this "living water"?

"But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life." (John 4:14)

The result is exactly like Jesus told the disciples in the New Testament. A new spring will bubble inside of us! And just like a spring in the earth is the source of every creek, stream and river, the new spring inside of us will be the source of thicker and stronger roots of faith.
Let us be like the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4:10-14. When we are feeling weak and weary in our bodies and spirit, let us run to the well where we can be filled again. The Lord is always waiting and ready to show you something new and pull you deeper than you've ever been with Him.

Pearl

There's a really cool story found in Matthew 13:45-46. It's short, but incredibly powerful.

There's an ordinary merchant, no one special, just a normal human being like any one of us. He spends his days working -- searching for items to sell, and then putting them up on the market. One day he finds an pearl that is far more valuable than any of the previous pearls he's found. He becomes so excited, that he sells everything he owns to buy it.

EVERYTHING. This merchant runs into his house and turns all of his possessions in for the money he needs to buy the pearl. A simple pearl.

Why would he do this? Are all of his possessions REALLY worth the value of one simple pearl?

Let's look at it from our own perspective. Many of us have items we crave and desire -- the latest model pf a Mercedes vehicle, a Victorian-style home on the beach, an entire new wardrobe, etc. But we just don't have the finances to afford these highly coveted items. Instead, we put them in "wish lists" and spend our time dreaming about the day when we will ever get a raise at work to afford the cabin on the lake we always wanted.

Okay, I'm going to give you a make-believe scenario. What if you sold all of your furniture, clothes, cars, food, daily knick-knacks, and everything else you owned just so you could receive your dream item? That would be pretty silly, if you ask me.

But that's what the merchant did for this pearl. He sacrificed all of the things that gave him comfort just for this one pearl. If I was in this merchant's shoes, I don't think I'd have the guts to sell everything I own.

The pearl in this parable represents the Kingdom of Heaven. I caught myself off-guard when these two questions popped into my head after reading and studying this short Bible story:

Do I value the Kingdom of God as much as the merchant valued the pearl? Am I willing to sacrifice everything, even the things that will hurt, so I can grow closer to the Lord?

Peter wrote an awesome Bible verse in 1 Peter 2:2.

"Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation."

I love the metaphor he paints of babies symbolizing believers, craving whole milk from their mother's womb. As believers, we are to thirst and hunger for the Holy Spirit.

Our hearts should never be satisfied with what the world offers us. We must always be yearning and have a passion inside of us stirring deeper and deeper for the Lord.
Why? Because the Lord desired us FIRST!
James puts it this way in James 4:5:
"God JEALOUSLY longs for the spirit that He made to live in us."
Therefore, intimacy with the Lord is not a negotiable value. The Lord is our Creator; He formed us inside of our mother's womb before we opened ours eyes and saw the earth. He is our Father who clings to His children, wrapping His arms around us and loving on us with every speck of His being.
So how do we give the same attention to God as he gives to us? How can we experience a deeper relationship with the Lord?

I think there are two things the Lord requires of us for Him to pour out even more of His spirit on us.

We must first be WILLING, and then OBEDIENT to what He calls us to.

1. A willing heart is a heart that's inclined to draw close to the Lord and submit to Him.

This is the first step in drawing closer to the Lord. When we surrender our worldly desires and selfish attitude, we become true followers of Christ. Our minds and hearts are free of evil, and the spirit within us that the Lord has created longs and yearns to draw close to the Lord.

Then, we must be willing to accept everything He allows to cross our path while serving Him. The journey may be rough, and challenges WILL come our way, but if we stay planted in the Lord, then He will not let the waves of the storm surrounding us crash onto us.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul." (Hebrews 6:19)

2. An obedient heart is a heart that responds to the Lord's call, no matter what the sacrifice.

After our hearts are compelled by a pure and wholesome desire to draw close to the Lord, then we must take action. We cannot remain stagnant. We must obey the Father and alter our lives so we are glorifying Him in every way. Each footstep, no matter how small or big, pulls us closer to the His heart and the plans He has for us.

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and He will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you!" (James 4:7-8)

I've been in a season of waiting and learning. During this time, the Lord has spoken to me and showed me the things I need to let go of in order to become closer to Him. I've fought, complained, and nagged at the Lord for making these things the "deer in the headlights" in my line of sight. But after praying and letting His Living Word seep further and further into my heart, my lips have silenced. My selfishness lost the battle. I'm ready to plunge into the deep end and experience a greater glimpse of the Lord's touch on my life.

"If you look for me WHOLEHEARTEDLY you will find me." (Jeremiah 29:13)

We're Not Spiritual Robots

A question popped into my head recently.

What do you live for?

It was in the rush of customers dashing around tables and mannequins, arms overflowing with pieces of clothing barely hanging on the hanger. I was scurrying from the back room to the cashwrap when I caught myself off-guard.

I've been working at Gap Outlet for almost three years now. I've learned to love my job, mostly for the people I work with but also for the tasks I get to do every day. I love engaging with a variety of people and tackling new responsibilities.

But I'm also very competitive. This is where my achiever strength comes in (taken from StrengthsFinder 2.0). I always want to be the best at EVERYTHING at my job. Fitting room, cashiering, recovery, visual merchandising, etc. I strive to give the best effort for everything I work at.

It's not bad to have this kind of goal, but sometimes I become tangled in a mindset of achievement -- and with this comes greed and pride.

The Bible warns us about these sins in Proverbs 16:5.

"Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished."

There needs to be a fine line between wanting to do my best and letting my sinful nature take over my heart with arrogance. I needed to redefine the purpose of my role at work, let alone at every other place I encounter throughout my days.

I responded to the first question in my head with a second: "Well, is what I'm doing honoring God?"

Is ringing up a customer and offering the Gap card to them honoring God? Is whispering about other associates in the back room honoring God? Is folding a shirt honoring God?

Some of these questions may sound silly, and they may be hard to answer, but here's the truth laid plain out in 1 Corinthians 10:31:

"Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

That verse says ALL. Everything. Every piece. Every bit. Every something. All for His glory!
But how do we devote every word and every action to the Lord? It's seemingly impossible to have a mindset that's automatically programmed to worshiping the Lord. We can't be spiritual robots on praise mode all the time (if that was the case, we wouldn't have free choice as humans!).

The key is TRYING. Really watching your tongue when you speak, see God's people through His lens, and serving with the hands and feet of Jesus.

Yes, we're going to slip. There's going to be days where the F-bomb slips and the behind-your-back gossip happens.

But keep going. Don't give up. God's grace still covers you!

If our motivation behind every human capability is honoring the Lord, then the results will eventually start lining up. We'll learn new things through trial and error, and walk through seasons that will shape us greater into the people of God we were created to be.

The thing to remember: Molding is a process. It takes time. Take the potter, for example. The potter slaps out a chunk of clay and forms it with his hands into a pot on a potting wheel. The potting wheel rotates round and round thousands of times before the pot is in its correct shape and smooth enough to be a pot sold at the marketplace.

"LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We all are formed by your hand." (Isaiah 64:8)

Be patient for the Lord's working on you. Take heart and live for the Lord in the moment, and with time He will transform you into the person of God you were meant to be.

False Identity

Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever strong enough to tackle the things burning deep inside my soul.
I want to forgive...I want to fight social injustice...I want to breath the Word of God in my everyday life... The list goes on. I have a fiery, burning passion for the plans and desires the Lord has given me, but there's one thing that always ties me up: FEAR.
And it's not necessarily fear of the outcome. It's fear of the process.
I'm terrified that I'll become activated and start working towards a goal, and then fail halfway through. I hate it. In my weakness I crumble and beat myself up.
Let me share a Bible story with you. It's found in Numbers 13:26-33. This is the period in history after the Israelites have been released from Egypt, and the Lord calls on Moses to send out 13 spies into the land of Canaan. The men travel all over the land, and when they return, they report their findings to Moses. They tell him that the land is rich and fertile, but something is standing in their way: people who are stronger than they are. Also known as "giants".
All but two of the spies doubt that they will be able to take over the land. They fear that the Israelites will be overtaken again, and so they end up staying in their current location.
The two spies who go against the majority are Caleb and Joshua. Caleb's boldness in verse 30 astounds me:
“We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.”
No one else, besides Joshua, has faith in this action. This leads to the Israelites becoming consumed by fear, which then leads to their wandering in the wilderness for 40 years.
The problem with the Israelites was fear of the road ahead -- specifically the giants. They knew in their hearts the Lord had a land promised to them, but when they were faced with road barriers, they faded into the shadows of fear. Fear became a huge weight on their shoulders preventing them from stepping out in faith and trusting that the Lord would give them The Promised Land.
But even more so, the Israelites were too comfortable in their identity as slaves. It became their reality in Egypt, and being set free was something totally new and bizarre to the Israelites. They didn't know who they were without Pharoah's control over them.
Many times, we don't know who we are when we are given the freedom to chase after our dreams. The Lord thrusts an opportunity in our path pointing towards our dream, but we ignore it because we are too afraid of it. We're too used to the "comfortable" life we're living -- going to school, working a part-time job, hanging out with friends on the weekends, etc. When something new comes our way that captures our interest, we become empowered and excited, but when we discover the sacrifices we'll have to make in order to add it to our plate, a lot of the time we stumble and back away.
We have become enslaved by our comforts. I'm not saying that being in a comfortable position in life is bad, but we need to find a balance between living comfortably and taking risks for God's Kingdom and letting Him lead our lives. We need to put our FULL trust in the Lord, and believe that His way is the best way. Even though He may guide us through valleys, hills, and rocky roads, the end is a beautiful and fertile valley, springing with rich fruit the Lord has planted for us.
We also need to understand fully who we are in Christ. As humans, we tend to develop highly personal beliefs about ourselves that define us. Many times these are negative, and they scream into our ears everything that's messed up with us. Instead of listening to our own judgment of ourselves, or the enemy speaking lies in our heads, we need to OVERCOME these misinterpretations with truth from Scripture. Our identity needs to be rooted in who God calls us -- His children (John 1:12), His friend (John 15:15), justified (Romans 5:1), redeemed and forgiven (Colossians 1:13-14), anointed (2 Corinithians 1:21-22), citizen of heaven (Philippians 3:20)... etc.
God did not create us to be wallflowers or benchwarmers. He did not create us to play it safe and live life in the "safe" zone. He created us in His image to spread the good news of the Gospel by taking bold steps of faith that blow our circumstances out of proportion.