I went to Dunn Bros. with my dear friend yesterday. Over icy fruit smoothies in the 95 degrees heat, we exchanged thoughts about life and the season Lord had been taking each of us through.
As I described the battle between my spirit and my flesh I've been fighting this summer, she mentioned something that struck me. I had heard it at least a dozen times before, but I never had seen it through the lenses she unveiled:
Paul had a thorn in his flesh he had to live with, and the Lord wouldn't take it away. Even though he prayed over and over for it to be removed, it remained.
But instead of moaning and complaining about the thorn, Paul chose to live humbly and DELIGHTED in his weakness.
He delighted in weakness? What? That is so absurd to the human mind. Why would you delight over sickness, pain, persecution, abandonment, or any other difficulty?
But Paul knew that when he was weak, then he was strong. Because Christ reminded Paul that His power rested on him when he yielded himself in all his brokenness to Him.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Just think about that. The Lord's power is made perfect -- flawless, complete, whole -- in our lives when we lay ourselves before His feet in all of our brokenness. When we put on a mask and pretend that everything is okay, we limit the work of the Lord in our lives. When we are strong in ourselves, the strength that the Lord offers is dismissed.
In weakness is where we are bestowed strength to overcome. Not strength of our own, but strength that only comes from the Lord above -- strength that is mightier than a thousand armies and fiercer than that of a hurricane.
After hearing those words from my friend, I realized that the battle I've been fighting has caused a thorn in my flesh. And just like Paul, maybe it won't go away. Maybe it will be something I need to face daily. Maybe it's something I'll continually have to surrender at the feet of Jesus when I wake up every morning, dying to my flesh in order to receive His power and walk in the freedom He brings
But you know what? God's grace is sufficient for me, and it's okay if I struggle. It's okay if I wear this wound.
It's just like Tenth Avenue North sings in their song, "The Struggle":
Hallelujah we are free to struggle
But we're not struggling to be free
I am not bound by my weakness. I am not locked in a cage anymore. No, I'm like a bird with a broken wing flying free! Although I am injured and my weakness drags me to the ground sometimes, I'm not chained up anymore.
Even though every day is a challenge and I fail more times than I can count, it's God's grace and an attitude of perseverance that keeps me going.
"For though a righteous man falls seven times, HE RISES AGAIN." (Proverbs 24:16)
Today I'm going to rise up again. Although every day is a battle, and this wound pierces beyond my flesh into my spirit, I will continue to let His power rest on me in my weakness. I will come before Him with a broken spirit and allow His grace to wash away any shame or guilt I feel.
Abba, thank you for weakness. For without weakness, my trust in you would falter.
Showing posts with label humility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humility. Show all posts
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Not My Own
Today I was touched by one person's act of genorosity.
I was working at our house garage sale to raise money for the FMSC MobilePack event our school is hosting this spring. It was quite slow, but around 4:45 p.m. one of the guys on my brother floor walked in. He browsed for at least ten minutes, and afterwards he ambled up to the counter with a bag of Hebrew coffee in his hands.
"How much?" I said. "$2? $1? Give as little or as much as you like." I wasn't expecting much for a small bag of ground coffee. Out of my surprise, my expectations were blown away.
"I was thinking $10."
I just sat there, jaw dropped and my eyes wide.
"Or actually, all I have is a $20 bill, so how about I just give it all?"
This time my heart stopped. $20 for a bag of coffee? You wouldn't even pay that much for a fresh ground bag at Starbuck's or Caribou.
"Uhhhh... Wait... Are you sure?"
"It is for a good cause, isn't it?"
"Why yes... well ummmm, thank you. Thank you so much!"
Then he walked up the stairs.
In the moments after he left, I sat there motionless. I couldn't focus on the Bible commentary in my hands anymore. All I could think was, "Why would someone give so much for something so little?"
But isn't that what God did for us?
He came down into the earth in flesh and bones, and sacrificed his body for all of humankind on the cross. He gave his Son as a living sacrifice so we could be redeemed and made whole again.
This is the ultimate gift.
Some of you may have heard this verse over and over again as a child in Sunday school, but I want you to really focus on what it means.
It was out of authentic, pure and righteous love that God gave his highest prized possession (his Son) to redeem the wickedness of the world. We don't deserve one bit of this love. But out of His grace, we are released from our chains and are free to live in joy, peace, and goodness!
As I reflect on the wonder of God's sacrifice, I ponder about what I am hanging on to that could release more of God's kingdom into this earth if I let it go.
My pride.
My greed.
My fear.
These are only three of the things I struggle with. What if I decided to leave pride, greed and fear on the side of the road and run after God's arms like never before?
Pride and greed would be replaced wtih HUMILITY. God's strength would come alive in my weakness.
See the truth is, God will never turn us away. No matter how broken and messed up we are. Maybe it's time to start sacrificing the things holding you up tight for something that may not seem like the most self-satisfying in the moment, but for something that honors and glorifies the King through meekness and humble devotion.
It's time to remember that our bodies, possessions, emotions, actions and words were all created by the King for one purpose: to glorify the King, the maker of the universe and everything in it.
Everything we own really isn't ours. Everything that has been given to us is a blessing from above, and we need to use it to magnify His name - whether that be our earthly possessions, our talents or our personality.
We were made to worship.
Give it all to Jesus. He's worthy of every penny, every smile, every car ride, every phonecall, every basketball shoot, every paintbrush stroke, every stir of the spoon, and every other way that can be used to show off his glory. :)
I was working at our house garage sale to raise money for the FMSC MobilePack event our school is hosting this spring. It was quite slow, but around 4:45 p.m. one of the guys on my brother floor walked in. He browsed for at least ten minutes, and afterwards he ambled up to the counter with a bag of Hebrew coffee in his hands.
"How much?" I said. "$2? $1? Give as little or as much as you like." I wasn't expecting much for a small bag of ground coffee. Out of my surprise, my expectations were blown away.
"I was thinking $10."
I just sat there, jaw dropped and my eyes wide.
"Or actually, all I have is a $20 bill, so how about I just give it all?"
This time my heart stopped. $20 for a bag of coffee? You wouldn't even pay that much for a fresh ground bag at Starbuck's or Caribou.
"Uhhhh... Wait... Are you sure?"
"It is for a good cause, isn't it?"
"Why yes... well ummmm, thank you. Thank you so much!"
Then he walked up the stairs.
In the moments after he left, I sat there motionless. I couldn't focus on the Bible commentary in my hands anymore. All I could think was, "Why would someone give so much for something so little?"
But isn't that what God did for us?
He came down into the earth in flesh and bones, and sacrificed his body for all of humankind on the cross. He gave his Son as a living sacrifice so we could be redeemed and made whole again.
This is the ultimate gift.
"For God so loved the world, that he gave His one and only Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16)
Some of you may have heard this verse over and over again as a child in Sunday school, but I want you to really focus on what it means.
It was out of authentic, pure and righteous love that God gave his highest prized possession (his Son) to redeem the wickedness of the world. We don't deserve one bit of this love. But out of His grace, we are released from our chains and are free to live in joy, peace, and goodness!
As I reflect on the wonder of God's sacrifice, I ponder about what I am hanging on to that could release more of God's kingdom into this earth if I let it go.
My pride.
My greed.
My fear.
These are only three of the things I struggle with. What if I decided to leave pride, greed and fear on the side of the road and run after God's arms like never before?
Pride and greed would be replaced wtih HUMILITY. God's strength would come alive in my weakness.
See the truth is, God will never turn us away. No matter how broken and messed up we are. Maybe it's time to start sacrificing the things holding you up tight for something that may not seem like the most self-satisfying in the moment, but for something that honors and glorifies the King through meekness and humble devotion.
It's time to remember that our bodies, possessions, emotions, actions and words were all created by the King for one purpose: to glorify the King, the maker of the universe and everything in it.
Everything we own really isn't ours. Everything that has been given to us is a blessing from above, and we need to use it to magnify His name - whether that be our earthly possessions, our talents or our personality.
We were made to worship.
"Love the Lord your God with all your HEART, and with all your SOUL and with all your MIND." (Matthew 22:37)So I challenge you. Take time to evaluate your heart's motives behind every word that rattles off your tongue and every action your hands and feet make. Do they bring glory and praise to the King? Or are they self-glorifying, bringing satisfaction for a moment but in the long run destroying you?
Give it all to Jesus. He's worthy of every penny, every smile, every car ride, every phonecall, every basketball shoot, every paintbrush stroke, every stir of the spoon, and every other way that can be used to show off his glory. :)
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
A Brother's Cry
Today at work I was very heavy-hearted.
As I scrambled around trying to keep the cookie jar full, stack the cups away, wipe down the counters, and various other little jobs to keep the cafeteria spick and span, I noticed something that broke my heart.
A guy sitting alone at a table.
It's not unusual to see a person sitting or standing by himself in a public area, and typically it's something our eyes skip over every day. But I couldn't stop but stare at him for a moment.
And it wasn't because of his appearence or that I knew him. It was because he was ALONE.
Here's the question that crossed my mind:
Why is it that as Christians we can go out and love those who don't know Jesus, but we can't show love to those within our own community?
I'm not saying that the Church is doing a terrible job at caring for its community. And I'm not saying that we don't love our brothers and sisters in Christ. But, I do wonder... Do we minimize or overshadow the needs of others in the body of Christ simply because they share the same faith as us?
If I was to pose the same scenario to you in the cafeteria today, but let's say the student was a visitor, then how would that change the dynamics? I think it would change them drastically. Since the person isn't a regular, people would notice that and jump in and include this person into their culture.
So why don't we include the student sitting alone in the cafeteria, the elderly man standing alone in the foyer before church begins, or the girl at the end of the hallway who never seems to leave her room?
WE MUST LEARN TO LOVE LIKE CHRIST LOVED.
And how did He love? 1 John 3:16-18 tells us well.
I loved the second sentence of this passage. We ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
Surrendering your life is the ultimate form of sacrifice, and this is what Jesus is calling us to. Jesus literally laid down His life for us, so in order to love like He loved, we must lay down our lives for others (maybe not in a literal sense, but we still need to take this very seriously).
In Matthew 22:39, Jesus also commands us to "love your neighbor as yourself." How much do you love yourself? One way to look at it is to see how much you spend on yourself. How much money do you invest into a new wardrobe, a new car, an education, your cell phone bill, etc? We spend a lot of time feeding the selfishness rotting away at the inner core of our being. What if we were counter-cultural, and instead of always thinking about "me, me, me", what if we shifted our focus inside-out to put the needs and desires of others before our own?
To truly love is to set aside one's own desires and comforts to meet the silent pleas of those around you.
God places us in every moment and situation for a reason. If we don't step into the gap and love the person who's all alone now, who knows what could happen to them next? They could commit suicide because of the brokenness they feel. They could start cutting themselves. You never know what a person's next action will be, and the best thing you can do is always show them that they are loved through a simple smile or "hello".
So I challenge you.
Recognize people.
Spark up a conversation with a fellow student in the halls.
Stop judging people based on their outer appearance or even their reputation. Because height, weight, hair color, clothing style, economic status, personality and past mistakes are just masks covering a person's soul.
Look past the facade and answer the cries of the lonely both inside and outside the Church.
As I scrambled around trying to keep the cookie jar full, stack the cups away, wipe down the counters, and various other little jobs to keep the cafeteria spick and span, I noticed something that broke my heart.
A guy sitting alone at a table.
It's not unusual to see a person sitting or standing by himself in a public area, and typically it's something our eyes skip over every day. But I couldn't stop but stare at him for a moment.
And it wasn't because of his appearence or that I knew him. It was because he was ALONE.
Here's the question that crossed my mind:
Why is it that as Christians we can go out and love those who don't know Jesus, but we can't show love to those within our own community?
I'm not saying that the Church is doing a terrible job at caring for its community. And I'm not saying that we don't love our brothers and sisters in Christ. But, I do wonder... Do we minimize or overshadow the needs of others in the body of Christ simply because they share the same faith as us?
If I was to pose the same scenario to you in the cafeteria today, but let's say the student was a visitor, then how would that change the dynamics? I think it would change them drastically. Since the person isn't a regular, people would notice that and jump in and include this person into their culture.
So why don't we include the student sitting alone in the cafeteria, the elderly man standing alone in the foyer before church begins, or the girl at the end of the hallway who never seems to leave her room?
- One potential reason is fear. We are so afraid of going out of our way to meet the needs of others because it can mess with our image, expectations or schedule. Or maybe it's not necessarily that -- maybe it's because we're afraid to talk with people we don't know. We cannot allow fear to rule us any longer. Go against the norm, and stop allowing fear to get in the way of stepping out and showing someone you care!
- Secondly, I think sometimes our minds trick us by telling us that "someone else will love them, so I don't have to". NO! This is a lie. You may be the only person in someone's day that snaps them a smile, wishes them a hello, or asks how they are doing. Never assume that a person will receive love from someone else. Don't let this mirage of thought ruin your chance to make someone's day!
WE MUST LEARN TO LOVE LIKE CHRIST LOVED.
And how did He love? 1 John 3:16-18 tells us well.
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
I loved the second sentence of this passage. We ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
Surrendering your life is the ultimate form of sacrifice, and this is what Jesus is calling us to. Jesus literally laid down His life for us, so in order to love like He loved, we must lay down our lives for others (maybe not in a literal sense, but we still need to take this very seriously).
In Matthew 22:39, Jesus also commands us to "love your neighbor as yourself." How much do you love yourself? One way to look at it is to see how much you spend on yourself. How much money do you invest into a new wardrobe, a new car, an education, your cell phone bill, etc? We spend a lot of time feeding the selfishness rotting away at the inner core of our being. What if we were counter-cultural, and instead of always thinking about "me, me, me", what if we shifted our focus inside-out to put the needs and desires of others before our own?
To truly love is to set aside one's own desires and comforts to meet the silent pleas of those around you.
God places us in every moment and situation for a reason. If we don't step into the gap and love the person who's all alone now, who knows what could happen to them next? They could commit suicide because of the brokenness they feel. They could start cutting themselves. You never know what a person's next action will be, and the best thing you can do is always show them that they are loved through a simple smile or "hello".
So I challenge you.
Recognize people.
Spark up a conversation with a fellow student in the halls.
Stop judging people based on their outer appearance or even their reputation. Because height, weight, hair color, clothing style, economic status, personality and past mistakes are just masks covering a person's soul.
Look past the facade and answer the cries of the lonely both inside and outside the Church.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sickness Of Myself
What surrounds you?
Every morning after I wake up to the obnoxious ringing of my phone alarm, my eyelids crack open to the wide and messy, yet homey and artsy room around me. I sit up on the striped magenta sheets in the corner of the room and use my dresser as a stepladder to reach the floor. My two roommates are usually sleeping at the time I start gearing up for the day.
I walk to my desk, grab my shower basket, a towel, and my toothbrush, and head out the door into the hall that leads to the bathroom. I return and grab a pair of jeans and a shirt that catches my eye for the day. Then I bust out the door, my colorful black star backpacked packed to the bulge with my laptop, notebook, folder, and books.
In these mere 30 minutes of the beginning of a typical weekday for me, hundreds of objects flash before my eyes without my awareness. A yellow photo frame painted with baby blue and pink flowers on it, displaying a glossy photo of one of my best friends and me ice skating at Centennial Lakes last February. A can of linen-scented Febreeze sitting on the edge of my wardrobe. A shiny bronze penny in the middle of the rugged and stained blue carpet.
And those are only three of the thousands of possessions that fill our room. It is obvious that we live in a very materialistic country. Americans are always cashing in their latest paycheck for the newest fashion trend, technology rave, or entertainment option.
I am victim to this myself. It doesn't help working at a retail store when my employee discount is 30% on top of the already reduced prices. I typically buy at least one piece of clothing every two weeks. And it doesn't just stop at my job. When I make my bi-weekly grocery stop at Target, I always browse the Dollar Section to see if I can find anything worth buying, typically unnecessary objects, but enlightening nonetheless. These purchases, though minimal, add up in the long run.
It makes me ponder: Why do I spend my money on what I do? Do I really NEED the items I'm buying?
Then I am reminded of the 925 million people who experience hunger every day. I am reminded of the one in four children that don't get the nutrition they need on a daily basis.
I am tired of seeing pictures of babies with protruding rib cages, inflated stomachs, and arms and legs as thin as needles! It makes me angry that dirt pies are the common diet for children in Sudan. There is injustice in the world and I want to do something about it.
And so I evaluate my own life. I look at my surroundings, my possessions that dot every corner of my dorm room... and I am unsatisfied. I still have things on my "wish" list. I look at at the multiple cafeteria lines with countless meal options, consisting of meats, pizza, salads, cereal... and I complain. I nag about the terrible quality of our college's catering services. I go to work and chat with my fellow co-workers... and we whine about how we would rather be somewhere else. We aren't thankful for our job.
These are only a few significant examples of my life that I accuse myself of daily. It makes me want to puke because of how selfish I am. My sinful nature still rules inside of me, even though the Lord has made me a new creation. This is a result of The Fall, when Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree of life.
I don't want to live like this, though! I don't want to rant about all of the problems I face everyday in my worldview. I don't want to be negative or pessimistic. I don't want to become drive by materialism any longer.
I want to bring joy, encouragement and truth! I want to see through eyes of thankfulness. I want to be reminded of the blessings the Lord has given me daily. I want to delight in everything the Lord has provided me with - a family, friends, education, a job, etc.! I have nothing to complain about when I am confronted with the injustices of the world.
I need to shift my attention towards those in need instead. I need to desire to give of myself so they can experience the same joy and happiness I feel.
What can I do?
Every morning after I wake up to the obnoxious ringing of my phone alarm, my eyelids crack open to the wide and messy, yet homey and artsy room around me. I sit up on the striped magenta sheets in the corner of the room and use my dresser as a stepladder to reach the floor. My two roommates are usually sleeping at the time I start gearing up for the day.
I walk to my desk, grab my shower basket, a towel, and my toothbrush, and head out the door into the hall that leads to the bathroom. I return and grab a pair of jeans and a shirt that catches my eye for the day. Then I bust out the door, my colorful black star backpacked packed to the bulge with my laptop, notebook, folder, and books.
In these mere 30 minutes of the beginning of a typical weekday for me, hundreds of objects flash before my eyes without my awareness. A yellow photo frame painted with baby blue and pink flowers on it, displaying a glossy photo of one of my best friends and me ice skating at Centennial Lakes last February. A can of linen-scented Febreeze sitting on the edge of my wardrobe. A shiny bronze penny in the middle of the rugged and stained blue carpet.
And those are only three of the thousands of possessions that fill our room. It is obvious that we live in a very materialistic country. Americans are always cashing in their latest paycheck for the newest fashion trend, technology rave, or entertainment option.
I am victim to this myself. It doesn't help working at a retail store when my employee discount is 30% on top of the already reduced prices. I typically buy at least one piece of clothing every two weeks. And it doesn't just stop at my job. When I make my bi-weekly grocery stop at Target, I always browse the Dollar Section to see if I can find anything worth buying, typically unnecessary objects, but enlightening nonetheless. These purchases, though minimal, add up in the long run.
It makes me ponder: Why do I spend my money on what I do? Do I really NEED the items I'm buying?
Then I am reminded of the 925 million people who experience hunger every day. I am reminded of the one in four children that don't get the nutrition they need on a daily basis.
I am tired of seeing pictures of babies with protruding rib cages, inflated stomachs, and arms and legs as thin as needles! It makes me angry that dirt pies are the common diet for children in Sudan. There is injustice in the world and I want to do something about it.
And so I evaluate my own life. I look at my surroundings, my possessions that dot every corner of my dorm room... and I am unsatisfied. I still have things on my "wish" list. I look at at the multiple cafeteria lines with countless meal options, consisting of meats, pizza, salads, cereal... and I complain. I nag about the terrible quality of our college's catering services. I go to work and chat with my fellow co-workers... and we whine about how we would rather be somewhere else. We aren't thankful for our job.
These are only a few significant examples of my life that I accuse myself of daily. It makes me want to puke because of how selfish I am. My sinful nature still rules inside of me, even though the Lord has made me a new creation. This is a result of The Fall, when Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree of life.
I don't want to live like this, though! I don't want to rant about all of the problems I face everyday in my worldview. I don't want to be negative or pessimistic. I don't want to become drive by materialism any longer.
I want to bring joy, encouragement and truth! I want to see through eyes of thankfulness. I want to be reminded of the blessings the Lord has given me daily. I want to delight in everything the Lord has provided me with - a family, friends, education, a job, etc.! I have nothing to complain about when I am confronted with the injustices of the world.
I need to shift my attention towards those in need instead. I need to desire to give of myself so they can experience the same joy and happiness I feel.
What can I do?
- Instead of purchasing unnecessary things, such as a coffee drink for an outing with a friend or that gorgeous dress that went clearance this week that I think I might absolutely need, I will set aside that money to sponsor a non-profit.
- Only eat the minimum amount of food needed for a healthy daily nutrition intake. This means only water to drink, and no desserts.
- Silencing my voice and asking deep, open-ended questions focuses on others. Asking them about their day, their interests, their dreams. Less of me and more of them. Because they are more interesting than me.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
To Love Another
Love God. Love people. I'm sure you've heard this phrase before. It's the famous tagline of Dr. Anderson, our president at NCU. It's kind of like the unofficial mission statement of North Central, I guess. It's what we as students strive to live for. We want to love God first and emanate that love to everyone around us. The phrase didn't really unfold itself to me until this morning in chapel, though. It was our first chapel service after Fall Break, which marked the middle of the semester. As we were worshipping, I felt a shift in my heart taking place. For the past two months or so, my focus has been on breaking the chains that bind me to my past. I encountered God multiple times with the issue, asking him to release me and give me freedom. I was tested and challenged several times when I went home, but now I feel that God has something new for me. Even though I didn't always succeed at overcoming my past mistakes when I was surrounded by them, God was always there to help me and support me. I feel like I have gained confidence and trust in the Lord over the past few months, and now it is time for something more. Something deeper and greater that will put me out on the battlefield again. Something resonating with my heart ever since the beginning of school has been the desire to love on people. I kind of shoved this aside as I tuned myself into letting go of the past. Of course I'm always trying to share God's love with others, whether it be through a simple flash of a smile or a handmade card in someone's mailbox. But I haven't seriously committed to serving and loving on people every minute of every day. There's times when my selfish desires or bad attitude will surpass my actions to love on others. Right now I put myself before others, and I want this to flip-flop. I want to humble myself down to a servent. I want to wait on other people's feet. I want to be like the woman who poured her expensive perfume on Jesus' feet and washed it off with her hair. I want to be selfless. I want to live off the minimum, and give all my other efforts for the joy and happiness of others. Because it's not about me. It's about God, others, and then me. I am an instrument of God's love that needs to be pouring itself into the lives of others 24/7.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)