Showing posts with label heart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heart. Show all posts

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Not My Own

Today I was touched by one person's act of genorosity.
I was working at our house garage sale to raise money for the FMSC MobilePack event our school is hosting this spring. It was quite slow, but around 4:45 p.m. one of the guys on my brother floor walked in. He browsed for at least ten minutes, and afterwards he ambled up to the counter with a bag of Hebrew coffee in his hands.
"How much?" I said. "$2? $1? Give as little or as much as you like." I wasn't expecting much for a small bag of ground coffee. Out of my surprise, my expectations were blown away.
"I was thinking $10."
I just sat there, jaw dropped and my eyes wide.
"Or actually, all I have is a $20 bill, so how about I just give it all?"
This time my heart stopped. $20 for a bag of coffee? You wouldn't even pay that much for a fresh ground bag at Starbuck's or Caribou.
"Uhhhh... Wait... Are you sure?"
"It is for a good cause, isn't it?"
"Why yes... well ummmm, thank you. Thank you so much!"
Then he walked up the stairs.

In the moments after he left, I sat there motionless. I couldn't focus on the Bible commentary in my hands anymore. All I could think was, "Why would someone give so much for something so little?"
But isn't that what God did for us?
He came down into the earth in flesh and bones, and sacrificed his body for all of humankind on the cross. He gave his Son as a living sacrifice so we could be redeemed and made whole again.
This is the ultimate gift.
"For God so loved the world, that he gave His one and only Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16)
 

Some of you may have heard this verse over and over again as a child in Sunday school, but I want you to really focus on what it means.
It was out of authentic, pure and righteous love that God gave his highest prized possession (his Son) to redeem the wickedness of the world. We don't deserve one bit of this love. But out of His grace, we are released from our chains and are free to live in joy, peace, and goodness!

As I reflect on the wonder of God's sacrifice, I ponder about what I am hanging on to that could release more of God's kingdom into this earth if I let it go.
My pride.
My greed.
My fear.
These are only three of the things I struggle with. What if I decided to leave pride, greed and fear on the side of the road and run after God's arms like never before?
Pride and greed would be replaced wtih HUMILITY. God's strength would come alive in my weakness.
See the truth is, God will never turn us away. No matter how broken and messed up we are. Maybe it's time to start sacrificing the things holding you up tight for something that may not seem like the most self-satisfying in the moment, but for something that honors and glorifies the King through meekness and humble devotion.

It's time to remember that our bodies, possessions, emotions, actions and words were all created by the King for one purpose: to glorify the King, the maker of the universe and everything in it.
Everything we own really isn't ours. Everything that has been given to us is a blessing from above, and we need to use it to magnify His name - whether that be our earthly possessions, our talents or our personality.
We were made to worship.
"Love the Lord your God with all your HEART, and with all your SOUL and with all your MIND." (Matthew 22:37)
So I challenge you. Take time to evaluate your heart's motives behind every word that rattles off your tongue and every action your hands and feet make. Do they bring glory and praise to the King? Or are they self-glorifying, bringing satisfaction for a moment but in the long run destroying you?

Give it all to Jesus. He's worthy of every penny, every smile, every car ride, every phonecall, every basketball shoot, every paintbrush stroke, every stir of the spoon, and every other way that can be used to show off his glory. :)

Monday, April 23, 2012

My Paper Heart

Lately I've discovered how weak my heart is.
I've always struggled with self-worth and identity, just like 99.9% of the female population has. And through this, I tend to seek acceptance in the wrong things. I am constantly searching to find love from people, especially guys.
Acceptance has been my biggest life struggle.
I want to say I'll overcome it, I want to say I'll conquer it. But I'm intimidated of the journey. Scared I'll mess up along the way.
You see, I have this hole in my paper heart that I'm longing to fill with love from "that special someone". The problem? I fill the hole with gunk and temporary joy.
Maybe a guy will come along for a short period of time and make me "feel good" about myself. He'll enlighten my spirits, encourage me, and want to invest time in me. These kind actions soften my hearts toward him and make me vulnerable to fall into an emotional attachment to him. This has happened too many times in my life, at every stage in my walk with the Lord.
What I realized is that I need to empty this hole of desire momentarily, and fill it up with Jesus. Overflow it with Jesus.
I know this entire year I've been holding back. I'm continuously reminding myself to dig into the Word more, spend more personal time with the Lord, pray more, etc.
Instead, I've been filling my spacious moments with work, people, and entertainment. Not the Lord. I can honestly say that the Lord is not #1 in my life right now like He should be.
It chews away at me knowing that I'm not giving my whole heart and being to the Lord, but there's a part of me that is comfortable with it. I'm satisfied with doing other things that are less risky, and my sinful nature delights in ignoring the Lord when He calls upon me.
What I'm trying to say is that I just need to let go of searching for the person the Lord has destined me to cross path with. At least until I'm fully satisfied in Him, and He has my entire heart in His hands.
This is a quote that one of my brothers in Christ kept pounding into me:
"Don't seek opportunities. Seek the Lord, and the opportunities will follow." -Mark Batterson
Basically, what this is saying is that we, as humans, shouldn't always hunger towards our desires and wants. We need to maintain some sense of control and keep that freedom God-oriented, but at the same time, we need to be constantly seeking after the Lord and asking Him for His will in our lives. We need to LISTEN and OBEY.
When we become totally wrapped up in the Lord, and He is guiding our every step, then He will guide the right person we're meant to marry into our lives. Maybe they're been there all along, maybe they haven't. Who knows. Only the Lord.
It's kind of like that saying, "A girl needs to be so lost in the Lord, that a guy needs to seek Him to find her."
I need to shift my eyes back to the Lord and let Him captivate me as His daughter, princess and bride.