God In A Gas Station

Two days ago, two of my friends and I hit the interstate for an 8-hour road trip. Our long journey consisted of bonding through worship, prayer, eating at Jimmy John's and listening to a sermon by Francis Chan. Our destination? The one and only IHOP -- and that's not the pancake house, ladies and gents. That's the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, MO that hosts 24/7 prayer services. The three of us were stoked.
We arrived in KC around 7 p.m. and dropped one of our friends off at a high school to meet the family she would be staying with this week. Afterwards, my friend Kayla and I had no plans. We were free to do what we wanted for the rest of the night.
After a quick look at the gas level-ometer, we noticed the little arrow was close to hitting the red "E." We decided that a gas station would be the next stop in our night of spontaneity.
Little did we know that the stop would last more than an hour-and-a-half.
After leaving the high school parking lot, we immediately drove past a gas station to our right. Oops, our conversation had distracted us from making the turn. Luckily, there was a gas station only a quarter of a mile up the road under the bridge to the free way. We pulled in to the Phillipps 66 gas station at around 7:15 p.m.
Once pulling up to the pump, Kayla and I decided that I would pay for gas because she had paid for it on the way down. After retrieving my wallet, I noticed that the slot for my debit card was empty. "Shoot, I must have kept it in my other wallet," I said.
Thankfully, I had a $20 bill in my wallet so I gave it to Kayla to pay for as much gas as we could. Kayla walked into the gas station and pre-payed, while I stood out in the cold waiting to fill up. After some confusion of doing pre-pay (I had only done it once before), we were able to get the car half-filled. Good enough for now.
Kayla then contacted one of her friends in KC to hang out with. We were planning on going to Chipotle, when all of a sudden her iPhone died and thus had no way of navigating to the restaurant. I didn't have GPS on my phone, so we were stuck until her phone charged up again.
Kayla plugged her phone charger into the USB outlet in her radio, but the battery didn't charge.
Okay God, now what? We have no way of finding Chipotle and we don't even know what state we're in (KC is on the border of Kansas and Missouri, so we were clueless which side of the state line we were on.).
We decided to walk into the gas station and ask if they had an outlet we could use to charge Kayla's phone. Two clerks were at the desk: an older man probably in his late 50's, and a young girl who looked like she was in her early 20's. They both directed us to the women's bathroom, where we found an outlet next to the sink.
After plugging in Kayla's phone, we started talking about what we were going to do next. It was soon brought up that one of us should check on the car to make sure it was still safe, since the two of us were going to be in the bathroom for a while charging the phone.
I went out to the lobby and checked on the car, and just as I was about to turn back and walk to the bathroom, the two clerks asked if the outlet was working. I said yes, and they both asked where we were heading that night. I told them we were going to Chipotle and needed the GPS to work. The young girl started explaining how to use the Maps feature on an iPhone, and soon enough she sprung out from behind the counter and followed me into the bathroom to show us how it functioned (even though we already knew how it worked).
Three girls in a bathroom: two girls going to IHOP, and one gas station clerk. It couldn't have been more God-orchestrated. Read what happened next.
Kayla and I told the girl that we were headed to IHOP, and not surprisingly, she asked us what that was. We told her it was a prayer house that has live music 24/7. She was amazed by this and asked more. We showed her the live stream on Kayla's iPhone, and she seemed really curious.
We then began explaining to her why we were there and where we were from. She asked us what the two of us wanted to do when we grew up, and when Kayla told her she was going to be a youth pastor, the girl became really interested.
I don't know how all the pieces connected exactly, but eventually Kayla spilled her entire testimony and the girl ended opening up to us about her life.
The girl had grown up going to church when she was younger, but as a teenager she drifted away from the "religious" scene and got hooked into partying and dating other girls. She also told us about her difficult relationship with her mother.
What was interesting is that the night we visited was the girl's last day of work at the gas station. In three days, she was moving to Colorado with her half-brother to begin a new life. It was definitely a turning point for her in her life.
Throughout the conversation, which lasted over an hour, we continued telling her how much the Lord loved her and that He has a plan for her life. She was full of questions and eager to learn more about our faith. Every now and then I noticed a slight grin on her face, and it was amazing seeing the transformation taking place.
She didn't end up giving her life to the Lord, but we were able to pray with her at the end.
We laid hands on her inches in front of a sink in a gas station bathroom. God truly does work in the most unusual of places.
That hour-and-a-half couldn't have been more perfectly arranged.

• If I would have had my debit card, we wouldn't have gone inside to pay.
• If Kayla's phone hadn't died and then decided to work, then we wouldn't have gone in and had to use the outlet in the women's bathroom.
• If I hadn't gone and checked on our car, the girl wouldn't have followed me into the bathroom.

God seriously uses the most hopeless and frustrating moments for His glory sometimes. It's puzzling and beyond comprehension -- but it's SO worth every flustered moment, tear and grumble.
So whenever you find yourself in the midst of a situation that seems utterly hopeless, don't lose hope. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and your hope anchored in Him. Even when you feel like giving up, the Lord always has a way out and will use the most inopportune moments (in our human eyes) to show His glory.
Remember this truth that Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans:

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." (Romans 8:28)

God works in the middle of our mishaps. He doesn't expect perfection; all he requires is a heart that is willing and obedient to His voice, even in the midst of confusion and pain.
He turns our frustrations into moments for His glory to shine when we obey Him.

Don't be a Partial Follower

Tonight I was reading in 1 Samuel 15.
God sends out Saul to attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them, not sparing one human or animal.
In Saul's perspective, he obeyed what the Lord had commanded of him. He gathered and army and wiped out the Amalekites. However, he kept the king and the best of the sheep and cattle alive.
When the word of the Lord came to Samuel, he was very distressed. Samuel knew that Saul did not carry out God's instructions completely, and so he knew God would punish Saul for this. Samuel went to Saul and told him this, and when Saul received word that the Lord rejected him as king because of his partial obedience, he mourned and grieved deeply.
This is a powerful story of OBEDIENCE and what it means for us.
Maybe the Lord has instructed you to quit a job, end a relationship, move to a new city, or something else that would dramatically change your life. It's easy to listen to Him tell us his plans for our life, but it's an entirely different feeling to actually follow his plans.
Fear.
Worry.
Sadness.
I know I struggled with these feelings for the past few months. God had specifically told me to quit my first job -- the job I've had since my senior year of high school (that's 3 1/2 years) -- before I went back to school for spring semester this year. I hesitated with the thought of actually quitting my job. I was so cultured into that place, and comfortable. I had formed friendships that would last many years after leaving. I was scared.
Then God started wrestling with me. I started sharing my situation with a few of my friends, and they were all on God's side. No one told me to keep the job. This frustrated me.
It wasn't until one night when I was praying and journaling that it finally dawned on me: I needed to let go of this job in order to step into the new and bright future God had planned before me. I couldn't cling on to it secretly and pretend that God didn't see.
And, I couldn't hang on to the job for the summer and school breaks. Because that would only be obeying the Lord partially.
See, when the Lord instructs us to do something, we need to obey Him FULLY. It isn't enough to obey Him PARTIALLY -- even if it's 99% of what He's telling us to do, and ignoring the other 1%.
There are serious consequences if we don't obey His instruction completely. For Saul, he was rejected as king. Now that's a pretty big deal when you consider he was king over all of Israel, the Lord's people.
I challenge you to examine your heart, soul and mind and where they stand when making decisions to follow the Lord's plan for you life. Do you second guess yourself, or purposely get caught in a tangle of confusion, just so you can keep yourself in a comfortable position in life?
The Christian life isn't meant to be comfortable. It's meant to be reckless, adventurous and dangerous. Because even if the next step is uncertain, God has already memorized the entire path and will lead us along without fault if we put our entire trust in Him.

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." (Prov. 19:21)

Jumping Off A Cliff

The other night, I was having a conversation with my roommate and one of the girls we live next to. We sprawled down on the bright red carpet in our PJs and started talking about church, just as the clock striked midnight.
The girl who lives next door brought up the message her pastor gave in church earlier that morning. It was about the Apocolype, and it really caught my attention.
Trapped between phrases about such things as the mark of the beast and the rapture was a statement that stood out like an elephant in a room.
If God is calling you to something now, then why remain stagnant where you're at?
If Jesus was to come tonight, would you be satisfied with where you're at? Or would you be dissapointed because you didn't obey God's calling on your life?
I'm not trying to push any guilt on you, but this is a real question with serious results. Eternal results.
So, what are you waiting for?
Maybe you're waiting to pursue your dream. Maybe you're waiting to volunteer at church. Or maybe you're waiting to build a relationship with the people in your neighbordhood. Whatever it may be, my next question for you is WHY.
Why are you continuously waiting when you could drop everything you have now and go for it?
Obviously, there are factors.

1. Money. Money is probably the biggest game player in the decision-making field. In our society, people lock themselves into situations because of the dollar signs sprewn across everything.
2. People have a huge influence on us. And when I say "huge", I mean it. People have expectations of us and it's almost like we are living life as a puppet attatched to the strings people have placed on us. If we dissapoint someone close in our lives, then that would lead to emotional pain.
3. Another deal breaker is success. What if you don't succeed at following your passion? What if everything starts tumbling downwards and people don't support you? The thought of failure terrifies us.

But guess what?
In God's story for our life, these factors hardly play a role. God doesn't care if you're Bill Gates or living in the slums of New York. God doesn't pay attention to all the other voices screaming "no" at you. God won't be dissapointed in you if you mess up -- because FAILURE IS GOD'S WAY OF SHOWING THAT WE ARE BROKEN AND NEED HIM DAILY.
Our generation has become too comfortable with the satisfactory. We're scared of pursuing excellence because it would involve risk.
What we need to come to grasp is that God is the author of our life and His story for our life is perfect.
He is the one who created us in our mother's womb.
He is the one who held our hand as a child as we suffered abuse, rejection and loneliness.
He is the one who provided everything you have.
Right now, He is still walking alongside you. The Holy Spirit lives within each of us, and He will always PROTECT and LOVE you, through whatever circumstance comes your way.
Although God has given us freedom to choose our path, He knows that His calling on our life is best. We need to learn to trust God and not doubt Him.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones." (Proverbs 3:5-8)
 

Even though it's so easy to fall victim to doubt, be strong and listen to God's voice.
Go ahead, jump off the cliff you've been standing on and dive into the place God is calling you to. The waters may be deep and unclear, but God will be by your side the entire time.
No, some of the things God tells us to do might not make sense. Logically, it may not make sense for you to drop out of school, travel overseas and build an orphanage in the place you feel that the Lord is calling you to. Where would you get to money to do that? Where you would stay? What if you aren't successful? These are some of the eerie thoughts that can creep into our minds when we picture ourselves where we feel like God is leading us.
Be strong in the Lord and stand up against the lies coming against you. Allow the Lord to be your shield that deters the attacks of the enemy.

"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." (Psalm 18:2)
 

Whoever you may be, God has a beautiful and magnificent plan for your life. If you haven't discovered it yet, seek Him and He will reveal it in His timing. He loves you so much and would never lead you down a path of destruction.
Remember, when we give God the steering wheel of our life, then He will take us to places we could never imagine before. It's a completely exhiriating and risky experience, but in the end it's all worth it.

Pearl

There's a really cool story found in Matthew 13:45-46. It's short, but incredibly powerful.

There's an ordinary merchant, no one special, just a normal human being like any one of us. He spends his days working -- searching for items to sell, and then putting them up on the market. One day he finds an pearl that is far more valuable than any of the previous pearls he's found. He becomes so excited, that he sells everything he owns to buy it.

EVERYTHING. This merchant runs into his house and turns all of his possessions in for the money he needs to buy the pearl. A simple pearl.

Why would he do this? Are all of his possessions REALLY worth the value of one simple pearl?

Let's look at it from our own perspective. Many of us have items we crave and desire -- the latest model pf a Mercedes vehicle, a Victorian-style home on the beach, an entire new wardrobe, etc. But we just don't have the finances to afford these highly coveted items. Instead, we put them in "wish lists" and spend our time dreaming about the day when we will ever get a raise at work to afford the cabin on the lake we always wanted.

Okay, I'm going to give you a make-believe scenario. What if you sold all of your furniture, clothes, cars, food, daily knick-knacks, and everything else you owned just so you could receive your dream item? That would be pretty silly, if you ask me.

But that's what the merchant did for this pearl. He sacrificed all of the things that gave him comfort just for this one pearl. If I was in this merchant's shoes, I don't think I'd have the guts to sell everything I own.

The pearl in this parable represents the Kingdom of Heaven. I caught myself off-guard when these two questions popped into my head after reading and studying this short Bible story:

Do I value the Kingdom of God as much as the merchant valued the pearl? Am I willing to sacrifice everything, even the things that will hurt, so I can grow closer to the Lord?

Peter wrote an awesome Bible verse in 1 Peter 2:2.

"Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation."

I love the metaphor he paints of babies symbolizing believers, craving whole milk from their mother's womb. As believers, we are to thirst and hunger for the Holy Spirit.

Our hearts should never be satisfied with what the world offers us. We must always be yearning and have a passion inside of us stirring deeper and deeper for the Lord.
Why? Because the Lord desired us FIRST!
James puts it this way in James 4:5:
"God JEALOUSLY longs for the spirit that He made to live in us."
Therefore, intimacy with the Lord is not a negotiable value. The Lord is our Creator; He formed us inside of our mother's womb before we opened ours eyes and saw the earth. He is our Father who clings to His children, wrapping His arms around us and loving on us with every speck of His being.
So how do we give the same attention to God as he gives to us? How can we experience a deeper relationship with the Lord?

I think there are two things the Lord requires of us for Him to pour out even more of His spirit on us.

We must first be WILLING, and then OBEDIENT to what He calls us to.

1. A willing heart is a heart that's inclined to draw close to the Lord and submit to Him.

This is the first step in drawing closer to the Lord. When we surrender our worldly desires and selfish attitude, we become true followers of Christ. Our minds and hearts are free of evil, and the spirit within us that the Lord has created longs and yearns to draw close to the Lord.

Then, we must be willing to accept everything He allows to cross our path while serving Him. The journey may be rough, and challenges WILL come our way, but if we stay planted in the Lord, then He will not let the waves of the storm surrounding us crash onto us.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul." (Hebrews 6:19)

2. An obedient heart is a heart that responds to the Lord's call, no matter what the sacrifice.

After our hearts are compelled by a pure and wholesome desire to draw close to the Lord, then we must take action. We cannot remain stagnant. We must obey the Father and alter our lives so we are glorifying Him in every way. Each footstep, no matter how small or big, pulls us closer to the His heart and the plans He has for us.

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and He will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you!" (James 4:7-8)

I've been in a season of waiting and learning. During this time, the Lord has spoken to me and showed me the things I need to let go of in order to become closer to Him. I've fought, complained, and nagged at the Lord for making these things the "deer in the headlights" in my line of sight. But after praying and letting His Living Word seep further and further into my heart, my lips have silenced. My selfishness lost the battle. I'm ready to plunge into the deep end and experience a greater glimpse of the Lord's touch on my life.

"If you look for me WHOLEHEARTEDLY you will find me." (Jeremiah 29:13)

My Paper Heart

Lately I've discovered how weak my heart is.

I've always struggled with self-worth and identity, just like 99.9% of the female population has. And through this, I tend to seek acceptance in the wrong things. I am constantly searching to find love from people, especially guys.

Acceptance has been my biggest life struggle.

I want to say I'll overcome it, I want to say I'll conquer it. But I'm intimidated of the journey. Scared I'll mess up along the way.

You see, I have this hole in my paper heart that I'm longing to fill with love from "that special someone". The problem? I fill the hole with gunk and temporary joy.

Maybe a guy will come along for a short period of time and make me "feel good" about myself. He'll enlighten my spirits, encourage me, and want to invest time in me. These kind actions soften my hearts toward him and make me vulnerable to fall into an emotional attachment to him. This has happened too many times in my life, at every stage in my walk with the Lord.

What I realized is that I need to empty this hole of desire momentarily, and fill it up with Jesus. Overflow it with Jesus.

I know this entire year I've been holding back. I'm continuously reminding myself to dig into the Word more, spend more personal time with the Lord, pray more, etc.

Instead, I've been filling my spacious moments with work, people, and entertainment. Not the Lord. I can honestly say that the Lord is not #1 in my life right now like He should be.

It chews away at me knowing that I'm not giving my whole heart and being to the Lord, but there's a part of me that is comfortable with it. I'm satisfied with doing other things that are less risky, and my sinful nature delights in ignoring the Lord when He calls upon me.

What I'm trying to say is that I just need to let go of searching for the person the Lord has destined me to cross path with. At least until I'm fully satisfied in Him, and He has my entire heart in His hands.

This is a quote that one of my brothers in Christ kept pounding into me:

"Don't seek opportunities. Seek the Lord, and the opportunities will follow." -Mark Batterson

Basically, what this is saying is that we, as humans, shouldn't always hunger towards our desires and wants. We need to maintain some sense of control and keep that freedom God-oriented, but at the same time, we need to be constantly seeking after the Lord and asking Him for His will in our lives. We need to LISTEN and OBEY.

When we become totally wrapped up in the Lord, and He is guiding our every step, then He will guide the right person we're meant to marry into our lives. Maybe they're been there all along, maybe they haven't. Who knows. Only the Lord.

It's kind of like that saying, "A girl needs to be so lost in the Lord, that a guy needs to seek Him to find her."

I need to shift my eyes back to the Lord and let Him captivate me as His daughter, princess and bride.