God In A Gas Station

Two days ago, two of my friends and I hit the interstate for an 8-hour road trip. Our long journey consisted of bonding through worship, prayer, eating at Jimmy John's and listening to a sermon by Francis Chan. Our destination? The one and only IHOP -- and that's not the pancake house, ladies and gents. That's the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, MO that hosts 24/7 prayer services. The three of us were stoked.
We arrived in KC around 7 p.m. and dropped one of our friends off at a high school to meet the family she would be staying with this week. Afterwards, my friend Kayla and I had no plans. We were free to do what we wanted for the rest of the night.
After a quick look at the gas level-ometer, we noticed the little arrow was close to hitting the red "E." We decided that a gas station would be the next stop in our night of spontaneity.
Little did we know that the stop would last more than an hour-and-a-half.
After leaving the high school parking lot, we immediately drove past a gas station to our right. Oops, our conversation had distracted us from making the turn. Luckily, there was a gas station only a quarter of a mile up the road under the bridge to the free way. We pulled in to the Phillipps 66 gas station at around 7:15 p.m.
Once pulling up to the pump, Kayla and I decided that I would pay for gas because she had paid for it on the way down. After retrieving my wallet, I noticed that the slot for my debit card was empty. "Shoot, I must have kept it in my other wallet," I said.
Thankfully, I had a $20 bill in my wallet so I gave it to Kayla to pay for as much gas as we could. Kayla walked into the gas station and pre-payed, while I stood out in the cold waiting to fill up. After some confusion of doing pre-pay (I had only done it once before), we were able to get the car half-filled. Good enough for now.
Kayla then contacted one of her friends in KC to hang out with. We were planning on going to Chipotle, when all of a sudden her iPhone died and thus had no way of navigating to the restaurant. I didn't have GPS on my phone, so we were stuck until her phone charged up again.
Kayla plugged her phone charger into the USB outlet in her radio, but the battery didn't charge.
Okay God, now what? We have no way of finding Chipotle and we don't even know what state we're in (KC is on the border of Kansas and Missouri, so we were clueless which side of the state line we were on.).
We decided to walk into the gas station and ask if they had an outlet we could use to charge Kayla's phone. Two clerks were at the desk: an older man probably in his late 50's, and a young girl who looked like she was in her early 20's. They both directed us to the women's bathroom, where we found an outlet next to the sink.
After plugging in Kayla's phone, we started talking about what we were going to do next. It was soon brought up that one of us should check on the car to make sure it was still safe, since the two of us were going to be in the bathroom for a while charging the phone.
I went out to the lobby and checked on the car, and just as I was about to turn back and walk to the bathroom, the two clerks asked if the outlet was working. I said yes, and they both asked where we were heading that night. I told them we were going to Chipotle and needed the GPS to work. The young girl started explaining how to use the Maps feature on an iPhone, and soon enough she sprung out from behind the counter and followed me into the bathroom to show us how it functioned (even though we already knew how it worked).
Three girls in a bathroom: two girls going to IHOP, and one gas station clerk. It couldn't have been more God-orchestrated. Read what happened next.
Kayla and I told the girl that we were headed to IHOP, and not surprisingly, she asked us what that was. We told her it was a prayer house that has live music 24/7. She was amazed by this and asked more. We showed her the live stream on Kayla's iPhone, and she seemed really curious.
We then began explaining to her why we were there and where we were from. She asked us what the two of us wanted to do when we grew up, and when Kayla told her she was going to be a youth pastor, the girl became really interested.
I don't know how all the pieces connected exactly, but eventually Kayla spilled her entire testimony and the girl ended opening up to us about her life.
The girl had grown up going to church when she was younger, but as a teenager she drifted away from the "religious" scene and got hooked into partying and dating other girls. She also told us about her difficult relationship with her mother.
What was interesting is that the night we visited was the girl's last day of work at the gas station. In three days, she was moving to Colorado with her half-brother to begin a new life. It was definitely a turning point for her in her life.
Throughout the conversation, which lasted over an hour, we continued telling her how much the Lord loved her and that He has a plan for her life. She was full of questions and eager to learn more about our faith. Every now and then I noticed a slight grin on her face, and it was amazing seeing the transformation taking place.
She didn't end up giving her life to the Lord, but we were able to pray with her at the end.
We laid hands on her inches in front of a sink in a gas station bathroom. God truly does work in the most unusual of places.
That hour-and-a-half couldn't have been more perfectly arranged.

• If I would have had my debit card, we wouldn't have gone inside to pay.
• If Kayla's phone hadn't died and then decided to work, then we wouldn't have gone in and had to use the outlet in the women's bathroom.
• If I hadn't gone and checked on our car, the girl wouldn't have followed me into the bathroom.

God seriously uses the most hopeless and frustrating moments for His glory sometimes. It's puzzling and beyond comprehension -- but it's SO worth every flustered moment, tear and grumble.
So whenever you find yourself in the midst of a situation that seems utterly hopeless, don't lose hope. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and your hope anchored in Him. Even when you feel like giving up, the Lord always has a way out and will use the most inopportune moments (in our human eyes) to show His glory.
Remember this truth that Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans:

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." (Romans 8:28)

God works in the middle of our mishaps. He doesn't expect perfection; all he requires is a heart that is willing and obedient to His voice, even in the midst of confusion and pain.
He turns our frustrations into moments for His glory to shine when we obey Him.

Flames

You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours

The lyrics spiral off my lips once again during another Sunday worship service. My hands are raised in surrender to the Lord, and tears begin to mat my face. I am in the Lord's presence. But what am I really singing? I am declaring full submission to the Lord. Am I really going to follow through on this?
Doubt beings to flood my mind. The enemy rattles off the lies once again.
You are such a hypocrite. You act like you love the Lord and rejoice with thanksgiving during worship, but when you leave this place you're going to slip again. Just watch. I'll throw another obstacle in your way and you won't be able to live out what you're declaring now. What a wimp.

I try to stop the negative thoughts rolling through my brain. I keep mouthing the words on the screen and declaring promises of the Lord found in Scripture over me. The language of my heart becomes the language of Scripture and the Holy Spirit.

The song continues.

Come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one

I am asking the Lord to fill me up. I am asking him to burn inside of me.

You know what's neat? The analogy of a fire. We are declaring the Lord to dwell inside of us as a fire when we sing this song. A fire!
I did a little research on fires. The definition of fire is: "the rapid oxidation of a material in the chemical process of combustion, releasing heat, light, and various reaction products." That brings us back to high school chemistry class, doesn't it? Haha. Okay, let's dissect this.
Oxidation is the process of oxygen combining with a chemical. In my little analogy, let's call us the chemicals. When we experience the Lord and become ONE with Him, combustion occurs. Spiritual combustion. Spiritual combustion is an outcome of steadfast prayer, devotion, sacrifice, worship, thanksgiving, service, fellowship... Any of the spiritual disciplines that the Lord calls us to.
But what exactly results from a spiritual combustion?

I am reminded of the verse in Malachi 3:3: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." God is the silver smith and we are the silver he works with. My roommate posted this story from an anonymous source that relates to this analogy:

As a woman watched the silver smith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot - then she thought again about the verse, that he sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.

She asked the silver smith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silver smith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"
He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy - when I see my image in it."

Pause for a second. Think about that. Are there moments in your life when it seems like all walls are crashing down on you and you can't seem to break through? Probably, yeah. But you know what? God's got His eyes and hands on us. He's watching us through every battle, every pain, and every sadness. And his grip on us will never loosen. The Lord is the mighty and careful silver smith who pays close attention to each one of His creations.

And those difficult moments? He'll pull us out when the time is right. He's allow just enough pain and suffering, and then rescue us so we can "go out into all the earth" and proclaim our story of restoration and deliverance to others. For it is by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony that we change the world.

The LORD saved me in 2011! :)

[Re-posted from my Tumblr: cloudywithadoseofsmiles.tumblr.com] I just wrote an entire poem on where God has taken me from a year to this day. It’s been an incredible journey. God has changed my heart and redeemed me from my past, and I can look back with a smile knowing that my future is brighter because of the LORD and the huge plans He has for my life. I don’t need to walk in shame anymore! I don’t need to hide my story in the shade anymore! I’m not ashamed to spill my testimony, because God has done a miraculous work inside of me and He’ll still molding it. I am in awe at His Majesty. My words lack the ability to describe the glory of the LORD. All I know is that I have been saved and if it hadn’t been for North Central and the amazing people surrounding me last year, I would have fallen away from the LORD and I would be living a completely different life. Honestly, I believe I would have been pregnant with the mindset and emotions I had. I was trapped in a physical relationship with a guy who was abusing me, as much as I hate to say that. He was my boyfriend for a year-and-a-half, and three months after we broke up the physical stage started up again. It was the most confusing time period of my life. I was broken and being used as his puppet. The thing is: I was doing it willingly and didn’t fight it. I wanted to kiss him and love him, even if we weren’t dating still. I wanted that feeling of human love that no one else was giving me at the moment. It felt good in the moment, but after it was done it was horrible. I beat myself up about it and guilt weighed down on my shoulders. I know the LORD didn’t want me to do it, and I felt Him speak strongly against it. Yet I continued to do it. I shoved God’s voice into a box and let my own selfish self take over. The sinful nature in me was taking control, and I was powerless outside of that. My behavior continued into the summer, where I saw my ex-boyfriend two or three times. Each time we made-out at his house or in his car. During the last time I saw him, though, I knew it had to end. We ended up kissing, but after I slammed the door shut in my car I drove away with thoughts screaming inside of my head. This is coming to an end. I’m sick of it. LORD, save me! I didn’t exactly break down and give everything to the LORD then, though. It was a few weeks later when I packed all my belongings and moved into my dorm for my sophomore year of college. During our first floor meeting (which consisted of only freshmen/transfer students, my RA, and my two DLs) we all squished ourselves in my RAs room for a night of sharing where God has taken us. I had no idea what I was going to share. I started off listening to everyone else’s stories and based what I was going to share off of that. But then the LORD spoke to me. You have to be vulnerable tonight. It’s time to spill your secret and begin a season of healing and recovery. So I did. I didn’t know how or why, but I let loose. I broke down it tears. I was a complete wretch. Heck, I didn’t even know most of these girls I was disclosing myself to! I was being completely open and honest with them. I didn’t hold anything back. But the LORD was with me that night, He held me and comforted me. I walked back to my room that night full of peace. I knew I had to do what I did, and I went on from that day with my heart totally open to the LORD’s voice. He’s brought me through a time of restoration and patched up all the stains from my past. I am a new creation! I am a beautiful princess in the LORD’s eyes! He has washed me clean and I’m never going back. That’s what the LORD has done these past few months. And not only has He started a brand new path for me, but He’s unleashed my spirit into fervent and passionate prayer. I’m learning what it means to be prayerful and hear the LORD’s voice in all circumstances. I’m praying more and more, little by little, but it’s a work in progress I am so excited to be venturing on. The LORD is holding me in His arms. Although the future is scary and unknown, I don’t have to be afraid because the LORD is with me! He will never leave me nor forsake me! I am His, and He is mine. <3