Day #7: Beyond Me

So often I ask God, "What's wrong with me? How can I change?"
I sit down, journal and pencil in hand, and start scribbling down all of my problems. I fill the pages with troubles in my relationships with people, drama at work, insecurities that I suffer from, and so on.
Then I cry out to God, "Change me! I'm sick of who I am! Just transform me into the woman of God you created me to be."
Thinking that I've heard Him speak, I write down lists and formulas of ways to get rid of my problems.
I write, "Stop comparing yourself with other woman to combat jealousy," or "Don't talk about yourself all of the time to fight pride."And them I attempt to put these points into action.
But there's a problem.
The focus is still on me and my sin, not on grace and the love of God.

You see, transformation is more about the working of God in our lives than trying to fix ourselves.
It's looking beyond ourselves to the face of God and to the needs of others.
This is clearly outlined in Matthew 22:37-39:

"Jesus replied, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

When we become outwardly focused instead of inwardly focused, God works from the inside out to cleanse us of our impurity.

Instead of focusing on weeding out the sin instead of us by ourselves, let's work on these two things:

1. Fix your eyes on Jesus - Are you more aware of the problems in your life than Jesus, who has already conquered death itself? Are you consumed with worry? Then maybe it's time to shift your gaze. Spend time with the Lord in your free time and allow Him to lavish His love on you and show you how much He cares for you. Let Him show you that you can trust Him, and that there is complete peace when we rest in His arms. Even though there isn't full clarity with trust, it's the cloudiness that keeps us rooted in Him and walking by faith.

2. Love others - When you go about your day, are you so in tune with your own schedule and "to-do" list that you couldn't budge to go out of your way for someone else? Do you spend all of your free time by yourself investing in your own personal hobbies rather than branching outward and seeing what other people enjoy doing? It's so easy to get wrapped up in our own needs and wants, and it's especially easy to cling to a routine. But focusing on our own desires can draw us away from the needs of others. Maybe there's a man on the side of the road you walk past every day that is crying out for help and you ignore him every time. It could be time to reach out to him and offer him a dollar, a sandwich or a word of encouragement. We are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and when Jesus walked this earth, he never ignored the cries of the needy. God's heart beats for justice, and justice is ultimately love.

Let's become people who are so focused on seeking Jesus and loving others, that there is no room for pride or bitterness or insecurity.
The grace of God will flush out the brokenness in you, but only when you give up and say you can't do it by yourself anymore. Striving is not an activity in God's kingdom.
So let go. Let go of your own strength, because God defends those who are weak, not those who think they are strong enough themselves. Fix your eyes on Jesus, and let Him refine your sight so you can see the needs of others. And through this newfound vision, reach out in love. Wash someone's dishes. Pay for someone's coffee. Mow someone's lawn. Buy someone's textbooks.
Whatever form it takes place in, love is always the answer. Because God is love. And love transforms people.

To Love Another

Love God. Love people. I'm sure you've heard this phrase before. It's the famous tagline of Dr. Anderson, our president at NCU. It's kind of like the unofficial mission statement of North Central, I guess. It's what we as students strive to live for. We want to love God first and emanate that love to everyone around us. The phrase didn't really unfold itself to me until this morning in chapel, though. It was our first chapel service after Fall Break, which marked the middle of the semester. As we were worshipping, I felt a shift in my heart taking place. For the past two months or so, my focus has been on breaking the chains that bind me to my past. I encountered God multiple times with the issue, asking him to release me and give me freedom. I was tested and challenged several times when I went home, but now I feel that God has something new for me. Even though I didn't always succeed at overcoming my past mistakes when I was surrounded by them, God was always there to help me and support me. I feel like I have gained confidence and trust in the Lord over the past few months, and now it is time for something more. Something deeper and greater that will put me out on the battlefield again. Something resonating with my heart ever since the beginning of school has been the desire to love on people. I kind of shoved this aside as I tuned myself into letting go of the past. Of course I'm always trying to share God's love with others, whether it be through a simple flash of a smile or a handmade card in someone's mailbox. But I haven't seriously committed to serving and loving on people every minute of every day. There's times when my selfish desires or bad attitude will surpass my actions to love on others. Right now I put myself before others, and I want this to flip-flop. I want to humble myself down to a servent. I want to wait on other people's feet. I want to be like the woman who poured her expensive perfume on Jesus' feet and washed it off with her hair. I want to be selfless. I want to live off the minimum, and give all my other efforts for the joy and happiness of others. Because it's not about me. It's about God, others, and then me. I am an instrument of God's love that needs to be pouring itself into the lives of others 24/7.