I give you my soul.
Let this heart be Yours
and Yours alone. <3
THAT is my prayer. I desire the Lord so, so much.
Tonight we had a special Praise Gathering service for student leaders. I was so happy to return to a place where the Lord has truly done incredible things in my life. I've wept at that altar; I've prayed my heart out with my sisters and brothers in Christ; I've worshiped the Almighty God over and over again; I've heard messages that have literally changed me. So much has happened in that sanctuary. And I was back.
As for every PG I've gone to, I sat myself in the back right section. Alone. I like having that one-on-one intimacy with the Lord. The worship began, and the first song was "Let It Rain" by Delirious.
Looks like tonight, the sky is heavy
Feels like the winds are gonna change
Beneath my feet, the earth is ready
I know it’s time for heaven’s rain
It’s gonna rain, yeah, yeah
Did I really feel that? Was I ready for an outpouring of the Lord into my heart and soul?
Yes. God showed up.
The Holy Spirit revealed Himself to me through a word that turned into an image. (That's how the Lord speaks to me, and I've only recently discovered it.)
The words were: RAIN DOWN. I scribbled it down in my journal and started drawing. Then I pondered what it meant. Rain down? Why the rain tonight? Am I lacking rain right now?
Then it hit me. Spiritual drought. That's what I'm in.
The Lord convicted me. Over break, there were moments when I had free time and I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me. The Lord wanted to spend time with me, but I shoved it aside. I filled that time with other things -- friends, blogging, T.V, etc. I ignored the Lord's knock on my door.
I realized tonight that over break, my spiritual branches and roots withered. The soil around me was full of big rocks, and it wasn't the rich and bountiful environment needed for the Lord to pour out his word into. I was a shriveling plant, and I needed the Lord so desperately.
I started identifying the rocks in my life, the distractions and secrets hindering me from giving myself fully to the Lord. Later tonight, I even saw a video of Kim Walker talking about worship. One of her comments stuck out: "Maybe the reason why you can't connect with the Lord as intimately as you want is because you have an offended heart. You need an unoffended heart." <3
Whoa. That hit me! I started sorting through my life. There are some things I haven't forgiven the Lord for and things in my sight that are stopping me from experiencing the full beauty and glory of the Lord's presence.
Confession time! During prayer tonight, I gave everything to the Lord. I let it all go, and kept yearning after him with a longing heart. I didn't stop asking the Lord for more and more of Him for at least a half hour. I WANTED Him with everything in my being. I couldn't muster up the tears, but I felt them in my eyelids. I was so incredibly desperate to hear the Lord. I felt like I could have been the blind man on the street who reached out and touched Jesus' cloaked.
That's all I really want, you know. The Lord. I only want Him in my life. Although I am fully human, I want to live fully in the Spirit as well. Just like Jesus did when He walked the Earth over 2,000 years ago. I want to be Christ-like. Really Christ-like. I want to operate constantly in the spiritual gifts He has given me with a heart of love and compassion, and I want all the glory to go to Him alone. That's my heart's only desire.
It's funny, because during leadership training, at least two of the people who spoke asked the question, "What do you want? What do you really want?" I wrote some stuff down, but in the end, it all really comes down to yearning after the Lord passionately with everything I am.
So what do you want? What has the Lord been telling you that you're ignoring? Do you want to see the Lord work in your life like never before? I know I do. And the step I need to take to get there is by giving all that I am to Him. Surrendering complete control so He can be my navigator. Yes, it's scary. Yes, it's full of uncertainty. But who cares? With the Lord as your Guide, He will ALWAYS protect you and take care of you! That's why I'm taking a risk and jumping into the deep end with the Lord. Because if you stay in the shallow end, you're not going to go anywhere spiritually. You have to get out of your spiritual bubble and take risks. Trust that the Lord will take care of you in times of fear and uncertainty. Because that's when He does the biggest things and shakes mountains! ;-)
Feels like the winds are gonna change
Beneath my feet, the earth is ready
I know it’s time for heaven’s rain
It’s gonna rain, yeah, yeah
Did I really feel that? Was I ready for an outpouring of the Lord into my heart and soul?
Yes. God showed up.
The Holy Spirit revealed Himself to me through a word that turned into an image. (That's how the Lord speaks to me, and I've only recently discovered it.)
The words were: RAIN DOWN. I scribbled it down in my journal and started drawing. Then I pondered what it meant. Rain down? Why the rain tonight? Am I lacking rain right now?
Then it hit me. Spiritual drought. That's what I'm in.
The Lord convicted me. Over break, there were moments when I had free time and I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me. The Lord wanted to spend time with me, but I shoved it aside. I filled that time with other things -- friends, blogging, T.V, etc. I ignored the Lord's knock on my door.
I realized tonight that over break, my spiritual branches and roots withered. The soil around me was full of big rocks, and it wasn't the rich and bountiful environment needed for the Lord to pour out his word into. I was a shriveling plant, and I needed the Lord so desperately.
I started identifying the rocks in my life, the distractions and secrets hindering me from giving myself fully to the Lord. Later tonight, I even saw a video of Kim Walker talking about worship. One of her comments stuck out: "Maybe the reason why you can't connect with the Lord as intimately as you want is because you have an offended heart. You need an unoffended heart." <3
Whoa. That hit me! I started sorting through my life. There are some things I haven't forgiven the Lord for and things in my sight that are stopping me from experiencing the full beauty and glory of the Lord's presence.
Confession time! During prayer tonight, I gave everything to the Lord. I let it all go, and kept yearning after him with a longing heart. I didn't stop asking the Lord for more and more of Him for at least a half hour. I WANTED Him with everything in my being. I couldn't muster up the tears, but I felt them in my eyelids. I was so incredibly desperate to hear the Lord. I felt like I could have been the blind man on the street who reached out and touched Jesus' cloaked.
That's all I really want, you know. The Lord. I only want Him in my life. Although I am fully human, I want to live fully in the Spirit as well. Just like Jesus did when He walked the Earth over 2,000 years ago. I want to be Christ-like. Really Christ-like. I want to operate constantly in the spiritual gifts He has given me with a heart of love and compassion, and I want all the glory to go to Him alone. That's my heart's only desire.
It's funny, because during leadership training, at least two of the people who spoke asked the question, "What do you want? What do you really want?" I wrote some stuff down, but in the end, it all really comes down to yearning after the Lord passionately with everything I am.
So what do you want? What has the Lord been telling you that you're ignoring? Do you want to see the Lord work in your life like never before? I know I do. And the step I need to take to get there is by giving all that I am to Him. Surrendering complete control so He can be my navigator. Yes, it's scary. Yes, it's full of uncertainty. But who cares? With the Lord as your Guide, He will ALWAYS protect you and take care of you! That's why I'm taking a risk and jumping into the deep end with the Lord. Because if you stay in the shallow end, you're not going to go anywhere spiritually. You have to get out of your spiritual bubble and take risks. Trust that the Lord will take care of you in times of fear and uncertainty. Because that's when He does the biggest things and shakes mountains! ;-)
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