Friday, July 13, 2012

Reminiscing

The evening was coming to a close and I was just about to drop my friend off at his house for the night. I pulled my white Pontiac into his driveway, and all of a sudden we started reminiscing old memories from high school.
We talked about the dances, the parties, our teachers, relationships... all the juicy drama that was alive and running only two years ago. We spilled EVERYTHING.
As I was reflecting on everything that happened, both the good and the ugly, I started sketching an image of myself of who I was in high school.
The words that distinctly described me would be sweet, shy, innocent and sheltered.
I was the girl who hardly had an awareness of anything happening in my group of friends.
See, I hung out with the band geeks. I became part of the "clique" during 8th grade, and all through high school we had lockers next to each other and had parties at each other's houses.
I was kind of the outsider in the group, though. Especially when I started dating my football player boyfriend who was a year young than all of us in 11th grade.
As my friend and I chattered in my car about all the high school drama -- the break-ups, the hook-ups, the fights -- I realized how disconnected I was from everything happening. It made me a bit discouraged.
But as I was thinking about it later, the Lord spoke to me. He told me that all through high school he had me in this group of friends for a reason -- not to become "BFFs" with, but to keep me surrounded by people who wouldn't harm me or take advantage of me emotionally or physically. He knew the friends I associated with wouldn't remain in my life forever, but they would be people who I could trust. It was God's way of protecting me even while I was still at a distance from Him.
Now that I look back on it all, I praise the Lord and thank Him for everything He did to keep me under the shelter of His wings. Even through my first year of college, he held me tightly in His arms and surrounded me with a completely new support system of Christian friends and mentors. I was in a battle that only the place I was at could have survived it was in the community I was involved in.
It's crazy to look back on is how much I've grown from my freshman year of high school to my current stage of life. The Lord has totally transformed my heart in only six years.
My relationship with the Lord is secure.
My friendships with others are deep.
My passions have been revamped.
I am not the awkward, insecure girl I was at the start of my teenage years. God has delivered me from a broken relationship, mended my broken heart, and pulled me closer to Him than I've ever been before. I don't need to be the social butterfly who knows everything going on, and I can be okay with failure and weakness. Because my God is stronger than any trial or fear that comes against me. I can put my whole trust in Him and know that He has His arms wrapped tightly around me.
I was singing a worship song today, and the bridge went like this:
I may be weak
Your spirit strong in me
My flesh my fail
My God you never will 
("Give Me Faith" by Elevation Worship)
This is my anthem during this season of my life.
I am not who I once was. I have been made new.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

A Sudden Ache

I was reading a news story today about how extreme monsoon flooding in northeast India has displaced nearly 2 million people. I was utterly shocked at the amount of damage; over 60 people are dead and it is one of the worst disasters this region has seen in over a decade.
After becoming informed about the disaster, my thoughts began to race into action.
What can I do to help? These people have lost all hope. I need to jump on a plane and provide food and water for them.
Complete nonsense. I can't afford a $1,000 plane ticket to India, nonetheless can I simply stop working and spend a month in a foreign country with no place to stay.
Sometimes our instantaneous desires are out of the question.
But God reminded me of something as I pondered this idea.
"You can PRAY."
That's what He said, clear in my head. The wheels in my brain stopped for a moment.
So, I can say a little prayer, and that will be enough? I don't need to do anything else?
First off, no prayer is "little." No matter how short it is and no matter if you use 1st grade vocabulary without the big fancy words.
God hears every prayer shouted, spoken, whispered, and said silently in your head.
"I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy." (Psalm 116:1)
Secondly, God doesn't call us to solve every hurt and need on the planet. Our hearts may ache to help those who suffer and have experienced great loss, but before our foot takes one step ahead of our hearts we must ask the Lord if it is the right path for us. And while we do that, we must pray continuously and passionately for the situation we empathize with.
God has a very specific plan for every one of us, but one thing he calls each of us to is prayer.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Philippians 4:6)
Next time you read about a horrible event in your state or halfway across the world, do not be discouraged if you cannot help out. God has you in the season and place you're in for a reason; embrace that and be prayerful on all occasions.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

White Lines

There's a man named Hezekiah in the Bible. His father, King Ahaz, was an evil ruler. He sacrificed Hezekiah's brothers to false gods, closed up the temple, and led people in idol worship.
When Hezekiah became the new king at 25-years of age, he had a long history of dysfunction and rebellion behind him. He had to choose whether or not to follow in the footsteps of his forefathers or set a new path for Israel.
"[Hezekiah] did what was right in the eyes of the Lord." (2 Chronicles 29:2)
Hezekiah made huge alterations when he stepped in to rule Jerusalem. He reopened the doors of the temple, gave burnt offerings to the Lord, and essentially brought all of Israel back to the Lord.
What made him different than the kings before him?
He had faith.
He was a prayer warrior.
Hezekiah didn't allow himself to be trapped by his past -- he took a bold step of faith and followed the Lord, even though the crowd before him was going the opposite way!
Just like Hezekiah, you may have a long line of dysfunction in your family. Maybe there are drunkards, drug addicts, and sex offenders. Maybe all your grandparents, aunts, and uncles have gotten divorced. Maybe it's less serious; maybe there's just a lot of bitterness and hard hearts present.
Whatever the depth of the problem, the Lord is greater than it. He wipes away all of our history and makes us NEW.
So what do we do now?
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer." (Romans 12:12)
Keep praying. It may take years, even decades, for a mountain of brokenness to crumble. But know this: PRAYER MOVES MOUNTAINS.
Keep praying fervently and passionately for your family like Hannah did when she cried out to the Lord for a son. If you really want something, the Lord will give it to you!
 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)
Also, be patient with your family members! When argument sparks, don't be one to spread the flames of conflict.
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)
Lastly, be hopeful and excited for the new adventure God can take you on when you allow Him to guide your path. Giving up our own plans can be painful, but being obedient to God's plan can bring you to even bigger and brighter places than you could ever imagine! 

The scribbly white lines of brokenness, ugliness and failure that have been etched across your chalkboard don't have to stay anymore. Let God erase your past and allow him to be the author of your new life in Him!