Unending Joy :)

It's 11:16 p.m. at night. My stomach growls with hunger (even though I just ate a Velveeta mac & cheese cup), and worship musics fills the background. It's a beautiful evening. My roommate Emily and I plopped ourselves on the dirty blue carpet, dug out our Crayola coloring crayons, and began coloring our coloring books. Mine is Disney princess and hers is some random cute animal book. It was legit girl time. We chit-chat about boys, and laughed left and right. It reminded me of high school. I realized that I never really do spontaneous activities with people -- I'm super structured and revolve my life around my phone's calendar. It's silly, really. Sometimes you just need to let loose of a schedule, and have fun! Jump off the cliff, make mistakes, laugh until your stomach hurts! I know this is super cliche, but it's so true. My mind is already set in winter break mode. My motivation for anything school-related has drained down the hole. I don't want to write this 10-page pager on 1 Corinthians 13. I don't want to study for Old Testament or Intro to Comm & Theory. I don't want to do anything that involves research. And now I sound so stupid. I'm not trying to complain, I just have to speak my feelings. This is my sponge that soaks in everything rotating around my mind. And speaking of everything rotating around my mind, so much has happened today. I don't want to go on a huge rant about everything, but basically I had two revelations today.

First, during chapel (which was super great, because two of my old youth leaders visited me!) God filled me totally and completely with His joy. A huge smile was slapped across my face as I raised my hands in awe of Him. He is so good! I can't get over the Lord's incredible, relentless, never-ending love for us. I can't even comprehend it. He has revealed His heart and His love to me in so many ways this year -- my heart sings thankfulness to the Lord! He has been my Friend when I've had none, He has been my Deliverer that saved me from my past, He has been my Hope when I've had none, He has been my Provider when I've had no idea how I was going to pay for something... The list goes on and on! God reveals himself in both the big and the small ways. The ways we pass by in the blink of an eye. You know that smile someone gave you in the hallway after you had a rough conversation on the phone with your mom today? THAT was God showing his love for you. You know the note you found in your mailbox by that girl on your floor today? THAT was God speaking to you through writing. It's so cool seeing His presence shine through every moment! My spirit longs to be in constant intimacy with Him. I want my eyes set on the Lord in everything I do. I want to be compelled by His love and the blood He shed on the cross in my everyday actions. Basically, it was a celebratory day! A day to celebrate and rejoice for all the goodness He's showed me this year so far. I'm so grateful for the place I am. There's no other place I'd rather be. God is shaping me and building me into the woman of God He wants me to be.

Okay, second revelation. I went out to coffee with one of my really good guy friends from college today. I met him last year in New Testament when I sat next to him on the first day of class, and ever since, we've become super tight. He's a super passionate, loving, and bold man of God. He encourages me so much and challenges me in my walk with the Lord. We're also both directors on SMB (Student Ministries Board) at my school. While we were chatting over coffee at Open Book Cafe today, we were able to share our testimonies and what God has been doing in each of our lives lately. I wasn't expecting to share as much as I did, but I learned to trust him with both the pretty and the ugly details of my story. I knew I couldn't sugarcoat anything. After I spilled out my story on the table, he did the same. And then he went on talking about his passion and his heart for God's call on his life. He did over 70% of the talking, but that was just fine in my book. I love listening to people and hearing their stories one-on-one. I like being their human journal; something that can take in everything on a person's mind and heart and let it soak in. Even though I don't have all the answers right away, I have a genuine interest and care for people's lives. I want to help them grow, and encourage and lift them up as best as I can. Today was one of those days where I just listened. I let my heart take in everything he had to say, and I was shaken. Not badly shaken, but shaken with joy. I realized... well, let me just say it. I realized that I do like him. Very much. He's fun, loving, full of the Lord, passionate, supporting, and full of wisdom. I know that he is willing to do whatever it takes to follow God's will for his life. It's so cool seeing that big of passion flow from his heart. He wants to change the world, and he will with the selfless and humble attitude he has. So, I dunno. I guess I like him. A lot. :-) He's super sweet and I want to get to know him more and be a bigger part of his life. I care so much for him and want to continue to be there for him along the way.