I Thought I Was Packing...

This is definitely not a procrastination blog. Nope, no way. Ha.

[note the obvious use of sarcasm]

...It's not for homework, though!!!!!!!

Packing. Oh packing. :-)
HOW I DO NOT WANT TO START YOU YET!!!

So, I write. I read, I post, I search, I view. I avoid the mess of clothes and textbooks piled on my desk chair, the mountain of dirty dishes piling on the dresser, the vacuum sitting unplugged in the middle of the room. I'd rather just relax now and express my thoughts.

And so it continues to the actual meaningful part of the blog, the meat. Oh so yummy. -_-

Ahhhh, what to talk about? Once again, a lot is on my mind. The past four days have been quite ridiculous, really. Yes, it was finals week, but then there was the guys and all this other drama thrown in. It turned out to be a salad of craziness. But now it's over!! The end of the week. My heart rests with joy. :-)
But then again, life goes on, right? There's always something waiting to catch you, halt you in the middle of your path, or push you aside. The road of life is never-ending, as cliche as that sounds.

Right now I am soooooo excited to go home. I really am. It's coming at the perfect time! Not simply because I need a break from classes and studying, but because I get to be with my family and rest! I get to get away from people who... honestly, I'm sick of being around right now. There's so many fantastic and encouraging people at North Central, but I'm at that point where I need to get away and be alone. Or with those closest to me -- my family. My mom, stepdad, and "little" sister. I love them so much. More than they know. Sometimes I feel like I don't show them that all the time. I come across as bitter and selfish, where at the same time my heart knows every action and word I'm saying and I beat myself up over it. I don't know what it is. I feel like we all wear this mask around people closest to us, in a way. At least those we have had a past with and have certain expectations of us. It's so hard to change and become someone else who they may not like, or simply just over-accommodate your situation and pamper you. I don't need to be specially treated if I share something super deep, uplifting, joyful, loving, whatever! You don't need to muster up in tears and comfort me. Sometimes I hate that... It's awkward. Uncomfortable. Blehhh. Ewwwww.
But overall, I'm very excited to go home. Of course I will miss a few people here -- such as Emily, Cody, Amanda, and Michael -- but the more I think about it, the more I want home. I miss my cold striped tan sheets with a thick layer of blankets over it. I miss my pretty-smelling Bath & Body Works candles. I miss my mom's spaghetti. I miss having breakfast with my grandma at Perkin's after working at 5:00 a.m. in the morning. I miss having St. Buffaville days with Angie and Neil. The list goes on and on. It's all in perfect timing right now. God's timeliness is so perfect. He always has things occur right on the dot, even though we may not understand it at the time. I think He just laughs at us from His throne in heaven, grinning because we humans are so confused yet trust the Lord. But He always works things together for our good!! I love that. I cannot even begin to fathom the extremities of that, but it's true. Real stuff, bro.
So as I finish this blog, I just want to end it off on a happy note. End it off by saying that everything is going to be okay and the Lord has a plan for everything going on in your life! This semester has been fruit of that. God has taught me and shown me so much about my own life and others around me. If you ever want to sit and talk, I'd be more than happy to. But go in peace! Go in rest! Enjoy this time of thankfulness and joy with family, and kick back in the Lord's grace. Live in Him. <3