Stop Living For Accomplishments

The past two weeks have been odd. Winter Break started, and I found myself bored with no homework to do, my best friends away, and less shifts at work. I fell into a pattern of sleeping in way longer than I'm used to, watching TV (which I never do), and avoiding the tasks on my to-do list. I felt lazy and disengaged. Who was I becoming?

I hardly ever slept in past 8:00 a.m. on days I didn't have work or school, because I didn't want to waste precious time to do homework. I never watched "Adventure Time," or any other TV show for that matter, because I didn't think it added value to life. And I never, ever ignored my responsibilities.

But I'm learning that it's okay to take time for myself. I'm learning that it's okay to rest and have fun, even if it's not productive or makes my day start later. I'm learning to stop living under the rulebook I've created to ensure my life is successful and valuable.

Before this realization, I always assumed that every minute of my time needed to be useful. If I didn't allot it well, I would cower in guilt imagining what I could have done during those precious moments of time that amounted to nothing in the end. I remember several Tuesday and Thursday mornings towards the end of the semester where I slept in until 10:00 a.m. and didn't wake up two hours earlier to read. I would criticize myself and let shame overcome me.

Also, I couldn't just sit and watch a movie, play video games for hours, browse pictures on Pinterest or lay down on the couch and nap. What were these activities accomplishing? I wasn't making money. I wasn't obtaining a degree. I wasn't pursuing my dream. I wasn't becoming closer to Jesus in my relationship with Him.

But what if I wasn't supposed to live for accomplishments? What if I was just supposed to be obedient to what the Lord has called me, live by faith, and be happy? What if I didn't have to wear a mask of perfection anymore?

If I didn't live for accomplishments anymore, I would be able to learn the habit of self-care. I would be able to give my body the rest it needed, and I would be able to take breaks in my day just to do what I wanted to do in that moment -- even if it didn't accomplish anything.

In a note a friend sent me for Christmas, she included a Bible verse. It never struck me how timely it was until this very moment, because it goes along with everything I've been learning.

"So I concluded, there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can." (Ecclesiastes 3:12)

If I didn't live for accomplishments anymore, I would be able to learn the practice of patience. I would be able to focus on and invest fully in the moment, not on what's ahead. I would be able to be at peace, even in the presence of chaos.

When we slow down life and learn to press the pause button, we stop making accomplishments our goal. We take life as it comes, and see our life as one continuous stroke rather than a line made up of little dots.

I'm finding that living for accomplishments only breeds a fear of failure. 

Were my strict guidelines of only get eight hours of sleep to ensure that I be productive with the remainder of my time making my happy, or were they only stringing me along by fear of wasting time?

I'm not saying that waking up early is unhappy or done because of a fear of wasting time. There are many early birds out there who enjoy waking up early.

Also, I am not saying that disciplining yourself to do or not do certain things is wrong. Sometimes we need to discipline ourselves to break a habit, start a new habit, write a 10-page paper or apply for a job.

What I am saying is this: If you are doing something because of fear of failure, then stop doing it. If you are going to college just because your parents want you to, yet you want to work at your local diner the rest of your life, stop going to school and pursue your dream. If you are exercising just because your boyfriend wants you to be skinny, stop exercising (unless you do it for your own health). If you are avoiding media just because you think it will distract you, watch a TV show or a movie. If you are avoiding sleeping in just because it will steal your time away, then sleep in.

We must stop living for the approval of man, and we must also stop living for the approval of our own self. We live for God's approval alone, and God wants us to be happy and get rest. He doesn't want us to be controlled by achievements; he only wants us to be obedient to His Word.

Magazine

This past week, my family went on a 24-hour road trip. We all squeezed our overly packed bags and selves into my mom's mini van, and set out for the highway.
Along the way, I pulled out my younger sister's magazine. On the cover of the August edition of Seventeen, a hefty slogan in bold type screamed, "Get Everything You Want This Year!" The neon orange letters captivated me, and I found myself drooling over pages filled with the latest fashions, make-up & hair tips, and relationship advice.
It's crazy how much our success-driven culture promotes materialism. Every advertisement, article, and photo seems to secretly say, "Your [apperance, house, car... whatever it may be], isn't good enough. It will never be good enough, until you buy this product. Then you will be truly happy."
In Seventeen, a magazine whose target audience is made up of 13 to 15-year-old teenage girls, almost every advertisement features a brand name fashion designer or make-up. These pages are silently tearing down the self-esteem of young girls. Thoughts such as, "I'm not pretty enough" or "No guy would every like me" race through their heads.
Trust me, I was at that stage. And I still catch myself falling for these lies.
Even as a Christian, it's easy to get caught up in the smartly crafted phrases that magazine editors marvel over. Their cunning is their bait, and we are easy to fall for it. Our greed puckers up and hastens us to rip through the slippery magazine pages until our eyes fall upon the article that tells us how to get everything we ever wanted.
So, how can we learn to defeat the greed that ignites when we read magazines, watch TV, or walk through stores?
First of all, when we give in to the cravings of our heart and buy everything we want, despair soon follows.

"But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction." (1 Timothy 6:9)

True joy and contentment can only come from the Lord.
When we follow the Lord's commandments, then and ONLY then can we find real happiness.

"The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart." (Psalm 19:8)

Instead of following the world's ways and desiring after more and more, choose to live a life rooted in the Lord's goodness and mercy. He is Provider.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19)

Here's the mind-blower: We don't need anything in this life besides the Lord.
When we firmly believe this and start making Him our number one priority, then He will start providing everything else we need.
What if you gave God your wallet and let Him spend it however He wanted to?
Instead of "Get Everything You Want This year!", get everything GOD wants this year.